Fun friends? Close friends?

I guess, I've been really emotional lately in Facebook.  With my colloquium, some stuff and "someone" to bother me. I doubt that I will have any good mood. One of my friend asked, why am I so emo and suggested that I hang out and have fun with my friends to distract myself. This is ironic. Because, till then only I realize that, I don't really have any friends that I could have fun with. Well, Nandy. I have a bunch of girl friends. But none as close. Not to mention hang out and have fun! I remember when I was still in Engku Husain, I had fun with Sam, Nandy, Ayumi and John. Those are friends where I can really laugh with and enjoy with. I don't know, I laugh too with my other friends, it's just that, I couldn't really recall a proper time where we really hang out and enjoy thoroughly like Nandy and I used to. Yeah, Jocelyn is also another friend who I enjoy going out with. But she's leaving soon enough.

I guess, there's really loads of stuff going on messing around with my mood lately. I feel like crying. I feel pathetic. I can't find answers to my questions! My emotions in these very moment is really screwed up and, and I don't know what the hell is going on with me!!!!! I feel like screaming, shouting! Damn, Nandy, I miss you like hell!! I don't know it this time!! I don't know how to deal with all the things this time! I don't know how to get  over it this time! I don't know how to distract myself this time! I really miss my high school life now. I remember those distractions I used to have with Chee Sit, Keat and you playing basketball! I remember Zizi and Afiq joking around in class! And I remember having you everyday in MY LIFE. Why am I having this feeling that everything is changing too rapidly that I can't catch up with it. Isn't this hilarious? My life is changing in a pace where I fail to keep up with. My life is leaving me behind it.

Nandini, where are you?

Mich

Hard time

It's pathetic that you can't get a grip on your mood. I'm trying hard to brace with what's going on with me. You have to let yourself to experience a certain emotion before you can detach yourself from it...the thing is, the amount of pain you have to go through when you allow yourself to indulge in that emotion is always the worst part.

Me and my books..xD

I don't have pics but i embedded short clips from To Kill a Mockingbird film adaptation:

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9QRvwmswq-0&feature=related]

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZZu3sQhi8Ss&feature=related]

Okay, it was 11 something when I drafted this post on my notebook. Pretty blur cause’ headache-ing too..>.<! Okay, I’m this type of human where when the feeling’s here, I just have to jot it down or it will probably slip away with sleeping.

Hehe, I was reading To Kill a Mockingbird. I’m about to finish it. 10 pages or maybe less than that left. Yeah, reading in a slow pace. What else can I do when there are all these distractions like facebook, plurk and etc. Well, it’s a nice book. Good reading piece. I remember asking my friend why is the title To Kill a Mockingbird? Why mockingbird. Now I know, mockingbird symbolizes innocence. Atticus said, no matter how noble a man is, but if he took advantage of the ignorant, he’s nothing but trash. This book, it puts you in the perspectives of an innocent girl about Americans and the colored folks back in 1936 if I’m not mistaken.

Some people might think: Michelle, why are you reading all these now? Should have read it earlier! But to me, this is exactly about the right time for me to go through these entire genres. I mean I’m 18. The age where I’m turning from a silly, stupid girl to a girl with brains. LOL. I guess I no longer read to bring myself into a world full of fantasies away from realities. I’m now looking for books that will make me think I guess. But come to think of it, if Jane Austen’s books happen to be published now, wouldn’t it be categorize as chicklits? xD I guess I’ve passed those times where I’m after fantasies and fang-tastics. Hehe. My next target will be Mitch Albom since Nandy refused to lend me hers. But he will have to wait until I finish my Jane Austen. A long way to go… I realize, the way you look at books changes as you grow. I probably might end up boxing To Kill a Mockingbird away if I happen to read it a few years back. So, I came to the conclusion that, maybe the House of Night series aren’t that bad after all. Hehe. Maybe one day, one day I might just pick up Narnia from the book rack and end up liking it. But for the time being, I still think the movie’s better. LOL. I don’t know. My sister told me that Narnia was written base on the Bible. So maybe a few years later, I might be able to take it in maturely. I might also be able to link “the air is delicious” with Christianity too. Just kidding. No offence intended. Ohh crap! I seriously hope Jodi Picoult would stop writing. I really don’t know how long it is until I get back to her. Imagine the amount of book she has written until I get back to her…! Nicholas Spark, I’ll just get it from Nandy. Hehe….

I reckon she must be complaining that I’m not lending her my books while I still expect her to lend me hers. I think this habit won’t change for a long time. She knows best about me and my books. Better take my pacemaker out of me than getting me to lend you my books, right Nandy? Sam would laugh at this!

P/s: My phone's still not home yet..no pics..T.T

Mich