whatnots

Trials over and I've shifted to a new house. Everything happened in about a week only. It feels like a decade, to me at least. I thought reading will distract me from over thinking. But this time, no, it did not. 

I'm reading Something Borrowed by Emily Griffin and it made me feel downright worse. It's definitely not a tears jerker, but every time Rachel describes her feelings for Dex, it makes you feel like crying. How guilty she feels for wanting more of Dex and how insecure she feels about their barely existing love. How she has no rights at all to feel certain things but still feels it strongly. But it's a book, it has an ending, a happily ever after ending. 

Life is not a book. It has a beginning but you never know when it ends. Insecurity is like a black hole, it sucks everything around it inwards, leaving an emptiness behind. 

And my brother played Christina Perri's Arms on a loop. Forcing the lyrics into my mind. However, it hits a nerve. 

I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart
But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go
You put your arms around me and I'm home

How many times will you let me change my mind and turn around
I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved
I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone

You put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go

I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth
And I've never opened up
I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me
And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go


I hope that you see right through my walls
I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling
I'll never let a love get so close
You put your arms around me and I'm home

You put your arms around me and I'm home

Sometimes, your mind tells you not to simply judge a person, but your gut tells you your judging is right. 

Love,

Mich