Friday, July 29, 2011

upside down

#emptied book rack 

My mom reckons i should start packing up stuff i don't usually use for the moving. If you've been reading my blog, i guess you might already have the rough idea that i'm moving soon. So yeah, the date has yet to be set because of the feng shui stuff and the renovation is about to start. Only minor renovations. The biggest is restoring the toilet in my brother's room. Lol. Coming weekends might be house cleaning activity for the family. 

Anyways, life has been so chaotic these days. Having some issues with my class teacher. I don't know how to place this, if i am to type out the whole story, it's like complaining. She's old, and she's a teacher. I guess, all i can do is to suck it up as usual. Life in her class won't be easy anymore. But what else i can do ? You know the funniest part ? I thought of quiting. But i love some other subject so much and my friends and teachers who are really nice. and i know the idea of quiting is extremely imbecilic ! 

I never shed a single tear when i was undergoing the surgery back in form 4, not until the nurses pushed me out and i saw my family and the thought that i survived it rushes out grateful tears. The doctors and nurses said i was brave. Lol. And for more than 10 years as a student, my parents never receive any calls complaining about me. She did not respect my parents, she was really rude. I don't see how am i ever gonna respect her anymore than just acknowledging her as a teacher. People always say that in school, teachers are our parents. And i've always respect them that way. But, universe, forgive me, not her. 

I don't want to begrudge her or anything, and i don't want to blame her. I take it as my fault. My inability to satisfy her demanding and unreasonable requests. Until one extend that she had to be rude to my parents, my bad. But honestly, she made the worst teacher in my former school an angel. 

This kind of drama took most of my attention off things. I didn't realize it's the end of the month and i almost forgot what's coming up next Saturday. It wasn't until i look up the calender that i realize 6 of August is next Saturday. Time flies.

I'm strong when love from my family and friends form the basic in me.


Sunday, July 24, 2011

give me the reason to continue

Why making all those promises when you will only break it ?
Why make me believe that it's possible when you never intend to fulfill it ?
What's left to make me keep going on ?
What's the point for me to keep on in the first place ?
How am i suppose to convince myself to hold on.

If you don't expect me to go somewhere you won't afford,
Tell me in the beginning.
Making me expect and telling me it's not possible
is devastating.
I tried so hard, I wanted so badly.
But if I knew it's not possible, I would not have hoped.
How am i suppose to keep holding on ?

And anyone can talk behind my back, but it's you that it cuts deep enough to drain me. No matter how small the matter might be.
But you just won't know.

Thursday, July 21, 2011

your unworthy self

Words, in any language, they are like sharp blades. Careless, it cuts deep.
It might be something very minor, some small matter. Common teasing, common joking. But the impact is there. Others don't seem to think that it's a big deal, but the one being addressed can feel those words landing in with an enormous thud.

You're not me, you don't understand and you probably won't understand how those very simple word wound me. Because you're just not me.

I apologize if you think I'm one ego bitch, that's really just me and you have to suck it up for a few more months. Teachers, I dare to say I'm brought up right, I respect them despite the fact that I might not always agree with what they do or say. But I honestly still do respect every single teacher, be it those who kindly taught me or those who worked with me. Even those who i don't know their names.

I don't want to be rude. But I just want to ask, do you practice what you "preached" ? I don't blame you for wanting to act the heroic role trying to "slap" some sense into me, but sorry, you were just making a fool out of yourself.

You're not confiscating my rights to express myself, you got two choice, to ignore or to delete me. I welcome both. But don't ever give me those shit you think so highly of anymore. I can't assure you that I won't be rude.

And my friends and family, they never fail me. Thank you so much.

Yours sincerely,


Tuesday, July 12, 2011

of miss careless and miss dumbo

Bad day.

LOL, actually the bad day was on last Sunday. Sigh, guess what .. I effin lost my phone. No, not iPhone., not BB either. NO, OF COURSE not HTC. Nope, not galaxy tab, lame phone weyhh ! Okay la, okay la, it's just a "dumb" phone ! HEYYYY, my Sony Ericsson C903 is not dumb okay, even though it ain't a smartphone doesn't mean it's dumb ! Mine YOU ! 

So yeah, after all those pointless crappings, I've lost my phone. Not stolen, but lost ! And i lost it in a cinema (i was watching Treasure Inn, btw.) ! I'm such a dumbo, I didn't even realize i misplaced my phone. Sigh. See, i had to get myself a phone.OTL

I was thinking about buying a HTC Wildfire S. Unfortunately, the very outdated rural area I'm living in, HTCs aren't fehmes. So my mom thinks i shouldn't buy such infamous phone because in case anything happens to my new phone, i have to go all the way to the bigg bigg city to fix it. It's all fussy. Nokia is totally out of the question, and i don't like samsung. So, all that is left is Sony Ericsson (i'm a loyal SE user, all my phones were SE and still is, FTW). My mom figures X10 is too bulky and unworthy .. i end up buying X8. LOL, the exactly same phone with Fe-neh's ! :P 

Well, it's not THAT expensive. But whatever, it's still a phone ! Besides, i don't have to spend soooo much. Thus, my camera is still a possibility :D 

Yeah, i chose the black one, my mom said black is better. But what surprises me the most was, when the salesgirl asked what kind of phone i am looking for, i was like blurrrr and my mom spluttered without thinking that i want a phone with a decent camera. Haha, she pities me that i had to use my camera fund to buy a new phone. SIGH !!!

Right, bye ~


Saturday, July 9, 2011

Bersih 2.0

As a Malaysian, everyone ought to know what is the meaning of bersih. It means clean. The main objectives of this organisation is really very simple.

1. Clean the electoral roll

2. Reform postal ballot

3. Use of indelible ink

4. Minimum 21 days campaign period

5. Free and fair access to media

6. Strengthen public institution

7. Stop corruption

8. Stop dirty politics 
-Source :

The demonstration today(9 July 2011) was meant to be a walk for transparency and democracy in peace. Despite being framed for owning harmful weapons, the people still gathered and marched to voice out their wishes. The Bersih organisation was accused and suspected for planting weapons to be used for the walk. But today, it was clear that it's only mere accusations. 

Today, the people from different races come together as one to demand for only one thing; a clean and fair election. But the government denied their rights to protest. A democratic country denies the people's right to protest ? What a joke. What's sad is, the police tear-gassed the demonstrators and water cannon was used against harmless people. Violence is the way to receive the united nation ? 

All these years, the country has been promoting unity and integrity among the different races in this country. The people in this country made it obvious that unity and humanity exist in Malaysia. Even Malaysians that are currently in foreign countries responded to Bersih's spirit !

After the crowds dispersed peacefully, twitter is exploding with accounts from those who were in the walk with #bersihstories ! Instead of watching the mostly biased news, one should really read up Bersih stories. It tells the world how united Malaysians can be. Helping each other without any hint of racism.

People who have a heart ought to be touched by the unity Malaysians showed. We demand a change for a better country and future. 

For once, I'm proud to be a Malaysian. Proud to say Malaysia Boleh without any hint of sarcasm but with pure joy and pride. And maybe it's time the government should listen to the rakyats not the other way around.

Every Malaysian demands for a united country. A country without dirty politics. A country where integrity among different races are not exploited by the politics. A country without injustice.

For Malaysian ! For democracy and transparency !

Malaysia Boleh !


Tuesday, July 5, 2011

untitled #2

#taken at Sekinchan

Greetings, earthlings !

Really glad that the problem I was facing while uploading photo in blogspot has been resolved ! =) It's July and yesterday felt as is it was the first day of 2011. Seriously, I know it's lame but time flies, really.

It's already the fifth day of July. I know my blog has been really slow on updates and all, but I would like to clarify for you that, it's not because I'm busy studying. In fact, I'm still slacking. I feel guilty all the same. Reckon I should do something about it right now. Anyways, the school is really busy about the Annual Sports Day this Friday. You can see teachers intruding classes to pull students out and blackmail them for their attendance to the practice. Haha, no joke. They are all so eager to win the house cup.

I try hard not to involve too much in these sports thingy. Not the athlete type. Not passionate at all about school sports and stuff. I'm the paperwork. Haha. Well, my bestie finished her A-Levels at Taylors recently and she's really free, before she finds a job at least. Hung out with her and all. You never know how grateful I am to have her around. It's more or less 4 months more before the real exam is here and about two months more before my trials.

It's mad, given the percentage of the time I study versus the time I slack. I seriously need a time turner, maybe I'll borrow one from Hermione 14 of July ? LOL. Hopefully, i won't miss the grand finale of the worldwide phenomenon. Right, as you may now realize, this is just another rambling post of mine. Sorry ! However, I miss my blog and figured, i might just crap something for this month !

Oh, I almost forgot. The moving plan is now 70% done. The procedure i mean, so after all those picking good dates all and all, I'll be moving to a new house ! Teehee. =)

Till the next post then.


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