Tuesday, August 30, 2011

It's Merdeka !!

See, i told you next update would be really soon !

Haha, so .. I went to the KLCC's Bookfest yesterday. Well, what can i say ? Being surrounded by books can't feel anymore better PLUS ... no, lets not talk about the 'plus thing', so yeah .. it was good. Brilliant. Not really, because I can't find books I wanted. Can you believe it ? NOT even Mitch Albom's Have a Little Faith ! Such disappointment ! I've been patrolling round and round the English section and just can't find books I wanted. I pity him =( He wasn't IS NOT interested in books at all but he still followed me going round and round the place plus, NO PLUS, AND put up with my super duper craziness like, real madness. Come to think of it, where did those amount of patience came from ?

Right, from those five books I said i wanted in my previous post, I only manage to grab one on the list. The rest, I seriously cannot find it. I don't think they have it there and then.
#books I managed to grab.

As you can see, that's the only books I've bought. Something borrowed was my intentioned book. Room wasn't in my list but it was everywhere in the bookfest ! Yes, everywhere ! And after reading the comments about the book from VAs, i decided to give it a try. I was thinking about buying Eat, Pray, Love .. but, i don't remember why i discarded it.

And guess what ? I've decided to hurl myself at Tony Parsons' books right after my finals. His books are like those of self help .. uhm, something like Mitch Albom ? So yeah, imma start collecting his books. Wanna contribute ? LOL ! I actually had a hard time deciding what books to buy, because for certain reasons .. i mean the lack of books that i wanted completely turned off my book shopping mood. Well, the bright side of it is, my mom is safe from the nightmare that i bought tonnes of books. Really, compared to the number of books i bought last year, this is really like .. only a tiny teenie bit !

And my brother came home bringing this ..

#jar of sweetness and love

He bought this jar of sticky candies for his girlfriend and showed off to me ! I guess he's trying to rub it in that I'm single and lonely, LOL ! Joking. Ahhh, my favorite brand of candy, incomparable to even marks and spencer's chocolates, candies or whatsoever. Seriously .. I wish I have a boyfriend so that he can buy me Sticky candies ! LOL !! Just kidding. My boyfriend has to be more than that. Lol lol lol. It's so cute !!!

But .. who cares .. I've got bigger sized one ..

... in a wayyyyy cuter container ! :P (photo not clear, OTL) But .. I still 'tak sampai hati' wanna eat it ! =.= Oh well. So yeah, MINE is bigger in size, candies i mean ! (WTH .. since when i'm so childish !!)

And i just realize after all those rambles, my post has got nothing to do with the title AT ALL !

#source : google

So yeahhhhh ! HAPPY MERDEKA !!!!!!! :D Happy Independence Day, Malaysia ! I heart this country without politic issues in the picture. <3



Before i begin, I warned you to stop reading. This is only some crap thoughts of mine, no joke. 

Well, i was thinking .. how true what a friend of mine once said. Feelings can be deceiving. For what reason, i don't know .. but this phrase has been ringing in my mind. When i first heard, or rather read it .. i didn't pay much attention. But hitherto, when i think about it, yeah .. feelings ARE deceiving. It always tells you to do something that is obviously irrational. Perhaps, insane ? I don't know. But that's not the case or point. It's just that .. sometimes, you want something, but you know you shouldn't. You know something is not true, but you want to believe in that it's true. You know something is not meant to be yours, but you want it yours. Or you know something shouldn't feel this way, but it feels right. This is getting a bit repetitive .. Never mind. Oh yeah, i came across with this quote while flipping through Room. It's a mind over matter case. If you don't mind it, it doesn't matter. Maybe this applies to feelings too. Some feelings, if you don't give a damn about it .. it won't matter. But the tricky part is, how can you NOT give a damn about how something feels. OR how you're feeling OR what someone is feeling. Actually, there are always time when i feel insecure. Maybe it's because I'm really sensitive. I always have the feeling that whatever i have that i'm happy with won't last. This sense of insecurity can be really overwhelming and turns me into a drama queen. Yes, at some point, i can be really dramatic. People usually thinks that this is due to some past history that traumatized me. But, as far as my memory serves me right, no.. i don't remember anything that has ever happen in my life that'd leave me feeling insecure. It's naturally in me. And sometimes, it gets fully at me and I'll start throwing tantrum at anyone about anything that cross my path or maybe shut myself away which nowadays called emo. I trust easily, I doubt as easy too. Really. And it frustrates me really a lot that .. I can't really differentiate what is serious what is a joke or a prank. I know my doubting can hurt too. That's why, i'm a double-edged blade. It cuts both ways. I really don't like too much guessing. It ends in two ways A) Drives me really mad. B) I lost interest and turn really mean. 

Okay, screw all those. 

Sunday, August 28, 2011

of books and books

This is, well, hopefully a short and brief update given that I don't babble too much. I don't know if you've ever heard about it, but obviously you have .. okay, to the point, the book fest at KLCC Convention Hall ! I'm so going tomorrow and hopefully everything goes alright, I'll be there tomorrow ! Come stalk me. Kidding. There are certain books that I want to buy ...

Have a little faith by Mitch Albom. I already bought the other three books and this is the only one that I haven't got yet ! But it's a bit religious for my liking base on the brief intro at the back of the book but still, Mitch Albom's is not those kind of author that you can say no to without regretting it.

The Almost Moon by Alice Sebold. The Lovely Bones was awesome and I've read a few page of this book at the bookstore. But the condition of the book in that particular bookstore is such a big turn off !

Her Fearful Symmetry by Audrey Niffenegger. I've read The Time Traveler's Wife for more than once already and it's really a page turner. I'm having high expectation from this book by the very same author. There were excerpts of this book at the end of TTTW !

Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua. Honestly, i don't really know this author. Probably the first Chinese author's english book that I've ever wanted. But it seems rather interesting after hearing my friend who read the excerpt of this book from RD telling me about it. I saw it at Popular yesterday, but, it's those hard cover type which is freaking expensive. I'm a book freak, yes, but I don't go for hard covers like .. d-uhhh ?

Something Borrowed by Emily Giffin. Chick lit. Yes, if you're a loyal stalker reader of my blog, you might roughly remember that I've once said I'm way pass the age for chick lits. But the thing is, well, when my sister was busy shopping for sun block and money changing .. I spent my time un-wastingly at Popular and I happened to be reading this book. Well, it was rather captivating but i had to leave without buying it because *shrugs* the condition of the book turned me off

Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte. Classic. Not much i can babble about. I didn't manage to buy it last year, so yeahhh 8D

This update ended up quite long. Whoops, sorry for that. But yeah ! I'm so gonna shop for books tomorrow but there are several problems being thrown in my way such as ..

Not enough cash.
I'm about to shift.
Books I've bought last year from the very same fest is only 40% if not 30% read. The list can be viewed here.
I've got Trials coming up pretty SOON.
Like always, my mom is gonna kill me. 

It's sad, so sad .. it's a sad sad situation .. OTL Well, maybe I'll just buy one book, okay .. maybe two .. well, alright .. maybe three if i can manage to convince my bestie to let me do so .. I guess four won't hurt ? Well .. five ? Arghhhh !!! I'll have to ask my mom to borrow me some che ching che chings ! LOL

Anyways, if you've missed my birthday, you know what to do ehhh (pick any of the above listed books >8D ) lol lol lol ..

Right, it's a study night .. sigh. Honestly, I'd rather bury myself reading books than study. Who wouldn't ???

Till then(which might be really soon) !



Friday, August 26, 2011

of boredom and nothing much

finally ! the school test is over.
well, i didn't manage to sit for all the papers because my stomach threw a tantrum on the second day. lets not talk about what kind of tantrum it was.
the end of the school test means holiday. sad enough, this holiday is not meant for fun given that the trial's timetable is literally and technically and whatever-ly horrible. really. almost had a heart attack after looking at it.
as you can guess, i'm stealing some time out of my already low supply of time to .. well .. slack. it ain't gonna be a good time coming up, so let me do some rambling aite ?

i don't know. i suppose my friends, close ones i mean, ought to know by now how erratically emotional a person i am. my mood swing can be at the top of the chart and the next thing you know, it might be falling down, sometimes even falling bottomlessly. well, at least, i haven't have got a major breakdown .. or .. have i ? i don't have a clue why am i so emotional actually. maybe u can blame it on pms be it post or pre.. lol !

for all i know, i'm a very demanding girl.
for all i know, i'm a very unreasonable girl.
for all i know, i'm a very noisy girl.
for all i know, i'm a very complicated girl.
but for all you know, i'm actually a very pessimistic girl. yes, i have to admit that i am. despite most people think that i'm cheerful and happy-go-lucky. but i'm not. maybe i was, but no longer.
because .. for all you know, i'm good at concealing things i don't want people to know about. yes, that too i have to admit. and selfish too !

but simple thing is enough to put a smile on my face. it's just that, it depends on the right person, right time and right things to do. lol. this applies to everyone of course. sigh.

there are so many things that i don't know and can't seem to find the answers. whenever it comes to the decision between being rational and do what your heart tells you to, i often go for the latter one. because, doing what seems rational, yeah, it can guarantee you a better and safer option, but *shrugs* .. i don't know.

sometimes, i wish certain colors in my life can be sharper than other colors.
and i certainly hope that this certain color doesn't fade.
because it's to beautiful to be true .. i want it to be in my life like forever.
but i know it's very greedy to want it in such a way.
some colors just don't stay forever, they fade away leaving you feeling .. helplessly pathetic.

oh, thats a photo from my film slr, btw ..


Friday, August 19, 2011

Season of .. exams ?

Howdy, earthlings !

It's the examination season. Whenever I talk to friends around my age it's all about: oh shit ! EXAM is around the freaking corner. Be it trials or minor school test. So yeah, next week onwards, i guess i'll be literally drowned by exams. Test, trial, MUET, FINALS ! All racing around the corner, why can't they just crash in an accident and save me all those misery ? :D 

And so, i was loitering around the the net and figured I'd go check the time table ..

NOT this time-table of course, mind you =.=(but i thought this photo is cool, that's why i uploaded it, bwahh :P) No, of course not, uhm .. maybe something like this ?

So yeah .. if you're my friend or maybe a very loyal stalker of mine, you'd know I'm a Pre-U student a.k.a Form Six school girl sitting for STPM this year. 

I went to the official website of the Ministry of Higher Education and the time-table is THERE ! Waititng STPM candidates to download it !! Weeee.. Right. I don't know why i feel the rush of excitement after going through the time-table. My papers, certain papers have some time gaps between one another. I just thought, well maybe it'd be good. I can study more given that I've been slacking more than studying. Well, maybe it's this adrenaline thing, my mind is taking this exam as a flight-or-fight situation. Haha.

But when i come to think of it, i was like, aww shucks. Some gaps are real long, what if i forget to wake up and go school to sit for my paper ! O.O|||

By the by, GOOD LUCK to everyone that's about to sit for any exams or tests or whatever =) All the best especially STPM and SPM candidates ! And I should probably go study now too =(

So yeahh .. if i don't update my blog after this, you should know what is happening ! LOL !

Till then. =)



p/s : 

=P TEEHEE, yes a crap post, just so you know ! 

Monday, August 15, 2011

my immortal memories


silent night ticking by
wind whispering outside my window ..
i closed my eyes and it came to me,
the sweet scent that sets fire through my veins
i kept my eyes shut and it came to me,
and i see the smile that carves another smile on another face, my face.
things were never this way
and it was never possible
i wonder if your quiet presence
changed and redefined everything in my life

it won't last, i know ..
but i'm still working hard to capture 
these moments to grant them immortality
in my memories.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

19 with a beating heart

6 August 2011 !

19 years ago, I was born with a weakening heart. 19 years later, my heart is still beating with the love and care that surrounds me. And of course my life long and loyal companion, the little pacemaker that works 24/7 to keep my heart beating. It’s so great to wake up in the morning and find your heart still beating eagerly. I’m officially 19 today ! =)

My friends, they were good enough to celebrate my birthday with me ! =) Celebrated on yesterday and the day before yesterday ! haha, the first round was a celebration for me and also a friend who happen to have the same birth date !

And yesterday's supposed-to-be-ordinary-lunch, my friends actually ordered a whole secret recipe oreo cheese cake for me ! :') One of them actually took the trouble to run through old photos in my facebook to check out what cake i like. =) awesomeness 

#sakae candle as a mock birthday cake. wtf.. LOL

#birthday gifts from the stalker :)

 Sorry for lack of photos and the poor photo qualities.

So yeah, I'm officially 19. Miraculously 19. With a beating heart. With loving family. With caring friends. I'm here and I'll always be here.

19 years. Who would have thought that I could manage it this far. This long ? I don't know if I've changed a lot. Maybe i've remained the same all along. But for one thing I'm 99 percent positive which is i gained more than i've loss over these 19 years of life. I was given the chance to live on. I'm given four really really amazing and good parents. Yes, four. My biological parents and my parents who cared enough to bring me up in their gracious hands. And I'm given five superb siblings and really good friends. Nevertheless, passersby that taught me important lessons. Because every one comes and leaves in your life for a certain reason. So yeah.

And it so happen that this is my 101 post :D Oh yeah. I hide my birthday at facebook, but nevertheless, my friends, most of them still remember it's my birthday and am happy to read their wished :)

I'm playful, doesn't mean I'm not matured. I'm emotional, doesn't mean I'm unreasonable. I don't complain, doesn't mean I'm okay with it. I don't say a thing, doesn't mean I don't care. =)

I only have one birthday wish and i hope i can be granted !



p/s: This year's birthday is special because it falls on the chinese's lunar calender's valentines day ! "Qi Xi" ! I bet the lovely couple is spending their last few hours of their once a year meeting gratefully ! Being single, ain't that bad ay ?

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

Baby, it's August !

WARNING ! : Crap post.

It's August already in just a blink of the eyes ! *blink blink blink* LOL.. Well, i didn't start my blog in August, i started it in July, so yeah, i missed its birthday ! >< LOL I was freaking busy, busy for nothing ! OTL Anyways, August is my favorite month. Maybe because I was born in August or maybe because it's the number 8 ! haha, even number and a very lucky number according to Chinese, not that i care !

Looking back, I can't believe from not wanting to enter form six until entering form six eagerly, this whole form six thing is almost ending. Just a few more months and i can bid school goodbye for good this time. My life, it's never what i expected. Not a single bit, except from my SPM results, it came out exactly like how i expected it to. But other stuff, no. It never. Like being here and now. But that's the fun part of life. Teehee :D

Anyways, as I said, it's MY BIRTHDAY MONTH !!! Woohoo .. July was chaotic, bad and annoying. Well, there were some small part of good in it. But all i can remember is a piece of tangled thoughts and chaotic scenes. And I seriously hope this month can be a bit more peaceful. I simply just love August. But i can't believe I'm turning XX in less than a week's time ! I wanna stay XX forever .. :( and I still haven't got a boyfriend !!! There was this novel that said, if you don't get a boyfriend before *this certain age*, then your life will be incomplete ! :( :( :( haha, that book was a crap la, ftw !

It's just that, looking at my wishing list, i crossed out only very limited stuff. =( sad.. And i was thinking of buying something for myself .. Maybe the rougeberry perfume ? Or maybe a book ? That's the cheapest among my stupid wish list, FML. And i regretted so much for not buying that book during the outing with my friends on last Friday. Sigh. Anyways, it's just a birthday, i've learned to not expect. Because when you don't expect, any single thing will make u feel happy. :)

Having a beating heart and a working brain is the best i can ask for. My life, it's made out of pure luck besides love. Imagine if i was born a couple of years earlier where pacemaker doesn't exist or not officially launched, I would have died. The fact that I'm still here never fail to take my breathe away. I'm still breathing =)

Sorry that I've never had a normal blog post since god knows when. So it's all me rambling and stuff. Have a good and lovely August would ya ? =D

Happy August !



owh, that's a souvenir from my class monitor by the way, from penang :) i like souvenirs because, it's the fact that your friends thought of you even he or she was away enjoying themselves that matters ! =D
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