Monday, March 19, 2012

of charm bracelets and drinks

Hello, readers !

#Fact8 about ze blogger, I'm fond of charm bracelet. Ever since I read The Lovely Bones by Amelia Sebold, I fell in love with the idea of charm bracelets and have always thought of getting one. And then, I came across with this shop called Vintage 1988 ! They sell all sorts of accessories with different kind of vintage charms. And guess what ? I can customize my own bracelet with all sorts of charms. 

I've been to this shop several times, but funny thing is, I never manage to customize my charm bracelet. But like I said in one of my previous post, my sister bought me a princess necklace with a miniature merry-go-round charm from this shop, I was so happy ! Then, it happened that last Saturday, the bestie asked me out after work and we dropped by Mid Valley. She loves vintage stuff too and I brought her to that shop. And guess what ? I've finally got my very own customized charm bracelet ! *happy tears*

We both made one and paid for each other. Lol. 

Both bracelet has got a coin-like pendant thing. Initially, I wanted both of us to have live your dream, but for some reason, the bestie wants hers to be live,laugh,love ! :)

#This is hers !

#this is mine !

Wanna know why I love charm bracelets ? Because every little charm on your bracelet mean something to you. And each symbolizes something ! So, it's very personal. You see those charms in these two bracelets, they seem unrelated to each other and random. That's because you're not me. This little thing bears my thoughts and .. somehow, it's like a chunk of who I am. Lol. Wanted to explain what each of them mean to me, but now I think I should keep it undisclosed. 

And then, after buying this and feeding our tummy, we followed her sister to a club. Lol, truth be told, it's ze blogger's first time to be in a club. But thank god, the club was more like a pub. Not those typical disco club but still a club. Lol. Whatever. 

#pre-clubbing camwhoring

#drinks in hand, say cheers !

#red like a tomato

Not gonna tell if I was drunk. Lol. But I still sort of embarrassed myself. Damn. Sigh.

Anyway, now that I think of it, I know why it was only until then that I finally get myself a charm bracelet. Yes, I've been there a few times. But never with the right person. A right person as in, someone that really know me and .. will always do crazy stuff with me. Not just do with me but also put up with my craziness. And still understands my craziness. 

There are seven charms, besides the coin-like pendant, we chose a charm for each other, a charm that we think best represents each other. And we paid for each other. Haha .. and I was called ritualistic, wtf. Lol. But yeah. Besides my family, she's the only one by far that can really put up with all my craziness. When i say all, I mean really all. Listen to my decision, supports it if talking me out of it doesn't work. Watch me fall, stayed with me and pulled me up. Friends are like stars, you can't always see them, but they are always there. She's the brightest star I think I'll ever have in my life. 

If you're reading this,

Thanks for always, always being there. I'm lucky and happy to have you in my life. I've said that all the time and is saying it and will still be saying it. Our friendship is matured. You realize that don't you that it is matured ? We don't call all the time. I think there were even time when we never had the time to talk for a month, but still, it's still there, our friendship. It's like a child that is now old enough to take care of itself. It doesn't need attention. But it's still doing fine. By the end of this year or even the middle of this year, we're gonna be really go on our own paths. I hope our friendship stays this way. We don't have to call all the time, talk all the time .. but when we talk, we really talk ! I'm sure I'll really miss you a lot ! Not everyone understands me like you do. The charm you picked explains a lot. You're a classmate, a schoolmate, hangout kaki, bestfriend and above all, a sister I never had. 

I'll always remember what we talked about in Mid Valley last Saturday about our friendship, will you ? :)



Friday, March 16, 2012

I'm not okay.

How very often when you need to put up a face and let the world thinks that you're okay. Or maybe even when you're not .. make the world thinks that you're gonna be okay ..

Sometimes in life, you'd realize that you have no rights in certain things just because .. you put up a good show. It's like a cycle, people thinks that you're okay and so, you put a smile on that reluctant face of yours. People see you smiling, joke around and laugh jovially, they think you're okay. It goes on and on and on. You wanted to vent your frustrations, your confusions, your anger and your sadness .. you want to talk about it. But .. you don't know where to start from. And you say you're okay.

Saying okay is much easier than telling how you're really feeling. Okay, one word, two syllabus. Explaining your feelings, spilling your thoughts ? That is going through certain feelings again. It's okay if it's something happy. Who would mind feeling that euphoria more than just once ? If it's the opposite ? Triggers are everywhere, you don't need to relive that moment by spilling it out. Every simple thing can throw you back in time to go through some unwanted feelings again.

Some words, some song, some action .. and in my case, imaginary perfume smell. Until you realize you're here and now, it's too late to stop those memories come washing down at you. I'm not insomniac, but I'm prone to bad dreams. I'd go to sleep hoping when I wake up, it's a brand new morning, not the middle of the night with the remnants of a bad dream haunting me.

Since most if not all these feelings are .. expressed vaguely here, so yeah .. I don't have to say I'm okay here. At least, not here.

I remember someone said ; What you fail to let go of is not the feelings, it's those memories that you fear the future won't bring you anymore.

Life is an endless cycle, what goes around comes around. It's not gonna end. Maybe it's not about escaping the endless cycle but seeing life as a merry-go-round instead of a cycle of misery.

Like carousels in merry-go-rounds, there's always up and downs in life. Going around with the ups and downs is always better than stopping, frozen in time.

11.36 p.m.



Sunday, March 11, 2012

Wake me up when September comes !

Greetings, earthlings !

It felt like it was only yesterday when I saw someone posted "Wake me up when September ends" as their facebook status on the first day of September itself. Back then, I can't wait for September to end. Can't wait for STPM to end. Right now, September couldn't come faster. Lol.

I wish I can slip into hibernate mode and wake up when September comes. Yes, wake me up when September comes. Why September you ask ? Lol. It's the intake of local public universities ! This is funny. I seriously never given much thought about this year, thus, did not expect that this year is full of waiting .. and anticipating.

Ugh. This sucks. I don't care, I'll hold on to this job until September comes. Going into university needs to spend a lot ! Sigh. Yet, I still haven't decide whether I should apply for USM or not. #Fail.

That photo shows a necklace bought by Fene for me ! :D From my favorite charm bracelet shop, Vintage 1988 ! It's a miniature merry-go-round charm ! Super love it. And that bear .. Lol, he just happens to be there, like seriously. His name is Coco Chanel. Lol. Sissy name.

And there's this app that is gathering fame recently called Draw Something. I was wondering what is it since I was a big fan of facebook game Draw My Thing but couldn't care less to download it. But then again, a very friendly and nice uncle asked me to download it because HE himself downloaded it due to "peer pressure" .. so yeah, in short .. I downloaded and installed it ... and it's really Draw My Thing but .. forever alone version. Lol. Since no one is willing enough to play Draw My Thing with me in facebook nowadays, so yeah .. I can play Draw Something ! #ForeverAlone

#Draw My Thing forever alone version 

I miss playing Draw My Thing with my friends. Always laugh like mad .. Sigh, memories. But if you're in a long distance relationship, this can be super fun to play with your other half like seriously ! I remember we played (I mean my friends and I .. well yeah, my ex too) this game even when we were having trials. And every time I emo, Yin han and Koh will always play it with me and I'll literally LMAO ! Sigh. Memories !

Yes, this is just another rambling post with no special purpose at all .. just wanna, you know .. say something .. !

Till then.



p/s : I'm gonna go sleep. Wake me up when September come. Oh wait, wake me up when August comes.

Thursday, March 8, 2012

I did it ! Gloriously.

Hello, readers ! The blogger has got some good news for you ! =)

The long waited and anticipated result is out. Finally. Thank goD I was able to fall asleep the night prior the release of my STPM result. When I woke up, I was like .. this is it. My mom was supposed to send me to school to get my result at 12. But she had to send the car to adjust the alignment and thus delayed the time a wee bit. 

My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my rib cage when the time showed it was 12. I logged into the MPM site to check my result online but it was so clogged, it won't even load. So I used the SMS way instead. They kept telling me that they have got no records. When my mom finally got home to pick me up, I tried again. This time, they did not reply. When I reach my friend's house to pick her up, I've got the message, finally. The message was simple, subject codes with my grades. I screamed, and my mom got lost in my friend's housing area. Lol. It was good news.

You might think I'm crazy. But I still didn't quite believe it. I was getting more and more nervous when we reach my school. I got down and saw some of my former classmates holding the result slip. I was so very glad when I saw my favorite teacher sitting at a table labeled with my class' tag. Lol. When she handed me the sealed slip, my heart was pounding. Even though I already checked it via message ? Yes. She let my friend and I open our results in front of her. I took one glance at it ..

Oh my god ! I DID IT !!!! 3 A'S AND ONE  B !
(1 A, 2 A-, 1 B-)

It was so much better than I expected ! Really. I never thought I'd get this. I know for most of you it's not superb, but to me .. it's really enough. I don't need to be really perfect. I'm glad and thankful. I did not fail my teachers, I did not fail my family ! And above all, I did not fail myself ! I expect to get an average CGPA of 2.0 more or less. But it came out 3.5 ! Tell me I'm not dreaming !! It still seem a tad bit surreal !

After all those worries and sleepless nights, it's finally here. I'm thankful for the choice I made and grateful for what I've got. I finally did not let my ego get in the way ! 

Thank you so much for all those kind wishes. 

To all those Sixth Formers batch of 2011, all the best from now on. It doesn't matter whether you excel or not. You still need to take that one step to start moving on. No more procrastinating in deciding your future. Maybe it's time for you to grow up and make up your mind about what and how you want your future to be and not follow your friends or letting ego get into your way either. We're turning 20. How many more 20 years do you think we've still got ? 

Before I sign off, I've got a note to INTI college who just today, sent me an email that goes ..

Bitch, please ! Make sure you got the right email address !

All the best guys ! 




Sunday, March 4, 2012

Success is a journey, not a destination

12:28 a.m.

I ought to be sleeping. But I just had supper with my friends and is kind of full. Two or three more days before the release of STPM result. As much as I'm not sure what I will get and what course I really want and eligible for, I still have options to choose from. A couple of narrowed down choices.

Success is a journey, not a destination.

That was the quote we used to motivate ourselves back in Form Six. Previous post was 7 random facts about me. You know what .. I missed out one thing about myself. I may look confident about myself. Like I've always know what to do with my future and all .. but deep down inside, I'm just like most of my friends. The most fretted question ? Where to next ? I know what I like. But I doubt I'm good at what I like ..

As much as I'm excited to move on to the next stage of my life- University, trust me .. it scares the shit out of me. Getting my result itself is scary enough. It's all set. Questions keep popping out in my mind. What if I fail it ? What if I don't get accepted into any university at all. What are my other options. I've searched the web frantically for scholarships and financial aids. Sad but true, I know where my limits are. I've been average in almost everything. I'm not naive enough to convince myself into thinking that .. I'll  meet the requirement for those scholarships.

Pessimistic ? No. I don't call it pessimistic, it's realistic. I think this might be my last bet, a huge one. If I lose this bet .. I think, this is it. Readers, will you keep me in your prayers, doesn't matter what religion you are .. that I get something I want this coming Wednesday ? I promise in return, a victorious and glorious smile. Lol.

And to those who are taking their result this coming Wednesday too, best of luck. Embrace every possible outcome courageously.



p/s : We're in on a long journey. Never give up.
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