Monday, January 31, 2011

of the mourning rain

I was listening to The Band Perry's If I Die Young..and tears came rolling down..

The sight of the canopy being set out after turning the last corner to my house lot hits me without mercy. It's a week since my grandmother passed away and it never stop raining. 

The sharp knife of a short life..

Out of a sudden, i feel pointless..
All alone in this chilly weather.. it's so weird, Chinese New Year is just around the corner, it should be warm, but instead, it's cold..

So many feelings spinning around but no words matches exactly how i feel..This doesn't even feel right at all !


p/s : what you're going through is like reflecting what i went through.. just another passer by, guard your heart well, sweet one !

Friday, January 28, 2011

Random Reviews: Hand Cream/Lotion

I figured my blog posts for this month are all my life ramblings and i feel like blogging about some product reviews. I went through my albums and found some photos of my hand creams/lotions, etc..

#Vaseline Healthy Hand & Nail Moisturizing Lotion


#Cyber Colors Handy-4-U Hand Cream (Strawberry)

My hands feel dry very easily especially in air-conditioned room. I normally use small bottles of lotions until one day i feel like getting a hand cream which is easier to bring around with. I'm definitely those picky type of girl where everything puts into consideration very carefully like, smell and the look of the product...heh..

#vitamin E
#Olive oil
$$ RM 8.50
This is the first hand lotion i bought for my hands and it is really good ! It smells faintly of olive oil essence and it's not greasy at all after applying it to my hands. It doesn't even feel sticky like most hand cream does ! This hand lotion has no flavor options, but some places sell the same hand lotion but with aloe vera. You can get this at any supermarkets or pharmacies..Watson, Guardian..etc. 

#Vitamin E
#natural fruit extracts(not that natural)
#RM 12.90
This hand cream, i have been longing to buy it since i started using hand cream because it looks cute and it has strawberry flavor. I finally bought it during a vacation because i forgot to bring the vaseline one. In other words, i had no choice. The strawberry flavor smelled so freaking nice when the promoter showed me the tester.... But when i actually use it, it smells so sweet and i wonder will it attract ants! I don't really like the smell because it's very strong. (the whole class will notice that it's me applying my oh-so-sweet hand cream) But luckily, it comes in different flavors.. as far as i'm concerned, it comes in mango, orange, watermelon and rose flavors. I'm planning to buy the watermelon flavor because it smells refreshing..=) This hand cream is nice except from the strawberry smell ! Non greasy, non sticky. But the only thing is, i can only find it at SaSa and it's much more expensive and smaller in size. =X

I personally prefer the vaseline hand lotion, it can last very long and i'm already using the n-bottle already..It has been almost two years since i started using it.. ! It's cheaper, easier to get and bigger in size.. If you notice the cap of both hand creams, the vaseline one is more consumer-friendly.

I really can't live without hand cream, there's one incident where i went shopping without my hand cream with my sister at Jusco one day. When my hands started feeling dry but i didn't wanna buy a new hand cream,(i've got too many at home already) that's when testers in Watsons play its important role...Shhhhh ! 

Hand creams are really useful and it's a must-must in a girls bag ! It comes into handy not only when your hands feel dry. There are tonnes of brands out there so choose and try until you find your favorite one =) 

What's your favorite one?

p/s : imma still looking for the best of the best =D

Lotsa love,


Grandma, rest in peace, we love you !

Friday, January 21, 2011

of a loving mother and her heartless children

Okay, the title seems harsh, maybe lend me sometime to finish this post, then only you judge if the title is harsh ?

It has been quite some time since the stroke attacked my grandmother, she has been staying in my house ever since the second stroke took away her freedom. In the pass two years, her soul was trapped within her decaying body. And yes, her decaying body.

And ever since, her body is literally shrinking. She eats and drinks, but nothing that her body will absorb because dehydration is obvious. Not to forget that she's getting thinner day by day. 

In the beginning, her children - my uncles and aunties visit her quite frequently like, every once a week. And then once every two weeks and then once a month until recently once every few months. My grandfather, visited her thrice i guess since the day we brought her to our house ! Even they come, they'll just greet her and went out to the living room ! Not even willing to spend 5 minutes in the same room with her. But my grandmother never cease waiting for their once in a blue moon visits. 

Until recently, her condition is getting worse. 

After discussing with my father, my mother finally decided to call one of my aunt to gather everyone at my house. Do you know that, most Chinese, regardless of religion, believe that when one is meeting his or her end, he or she will wait no matter what it takes to see her love ones like children, husband, etc. ? 

So yeah, but you know what the irony part is ? My aunt replied my mother saying that she's busy..busy ! A simple word that we use so often has suddenly turn into a curse, a taboo, a swearing word to me. Your mother is about to leave any moment, and you tell me you're busy ?

When my sister got home, she posted a note at facebook along with my grandmother's photos urging them to come meet her. One of my cousin gloriously liked the note. 

The heart-breaking part for my sister and i ... our father. Our father who lives under the same roof. Since my grandmother came, he never really enter her room unless being insisted by my mother. Last night, my mother and my sister confronted him and pleaded him to step into her room and have a real good look at her. He said, he's afraid

My grandmother.. 
she might not be a good mother-in-law to my mother.

My grandmother...
she might not be a loving grandmother to my siblings and i

Is the fact that she's a loyal wife deniable ?

Is the fact that she's a good mother deniable ?

Through stories told by my mother to my siblings and i, my grandmother had forgiven my grandfather despite his unfaithfulness once, twice or even thrice. And as far as I'm concerned, she devoted her life to her children. Working hard to sustain her family and to bring up her children. She has seven child, one of them passed away before i was born. 

But what did she get in return ? 

I'm busy ? I'm not feeling well ? or I'm afraid ?!

What has she done to deserve all these ?

The fact that these dramatic scenes happen right in my life sends shivers through me. The cruelty this developing world has brought. The heartlessness of humans that are made out of fleshes !

The reason i wrote this is not to condemn anyone or to humiliate any of my family members or my relatives. 

I want to make myself remember this. Every single thing that is happening. 

I was talking to my sister about whether will we end up doing what they are doing. I told my sister I want to be a human. A human with feelings. We promised not to let each other including my brother to end up being like what most of my father's siblings are doing. We are going to watch, listen and remember everything that is happening and tattoo it to our hearts. 

To you who are reading this, please, be a human too ! Please don't do this to your love ones. It's the greatest sin that ever existed. It's an unforgivable sin. No God, no religion can ever cleanse it. 

Please bring back some love and humanity back to mankind.



God, please bring them to her. 

Monday, January 17, 2011

of loyal student and tiring school life

Tired... !

School starts at 7.30 in the morning and ends at 1.40 in the afternoon. Student council meeting from 1.40 to 3.00 in the evening ! I had to wait at the bus stop for the bloody bus to come ! It came at 3.30 p.m. You know, travelling in the bus is very, very tiring. Half of my time and energy wasted in the bus. 

   Sitting at the bus stop, i started to hope-desperately- for a car that i could drive to school. My father's fault for provoking this thought ! T.T i'm so pathetic for hoping for a car at this age..*face-palm* A SMALL, TINY, PETITE CAR !!!!! argh...

   Upper six life here is really hectic. Especially when the school and my house is so far apart. I'm wondering why didn't i transfer to a nearer school where the nearer one offers history and econs in a package ? *smack head* And tomorrow.. i have no idea what time i will be at home. I have this don't-know-what-you-call-it practice which begins at 3.30p.m. And this Saturday is a schooling day replacing the CNY holidays ! *head-desk* 

#reward for being "loyal"

This is what i got for having a 100 percent attendance rate ! OTL it was less then 6 months of schooling days last year, so i can say it's easy to manage going to school every single day ! But this year? I doubt it. Heh..

Still a whole lot to go through before the end of the year ! 

Sigh. Exhausted.

Yours gloomily, 


footnote : despite the all the complains, i still enjoy being in form six. because after graduating from form 5, i realized how much i've missed during the schooling days..come to think of it, this is my last chance reliving my high school life, there's no form 7 ! (thanks god) 

and to those who like criticizing people who are taking form six..just shut your big, filthy mouth up ! You don't even trust yourself to enter form six, why talk so much ?

Saturday, January 15, 2011

of tripping and learning, lost and found

Have i been blogging too frequently ? Seeing the number of post on my archive, i guess i am. oh well, typing is one of my favorite way to express my feelings, thoughts etc, etc. The noise of my fingers hitting the keyboard mercilessly actually calms my mind. So, yeah..

  You have no idea how glad I feel about the fact that this week is ending. I'm tired and sick of myself. If life is all about falling down and learn as we fall, I don't think I've ever fallen, not a real bad fall yet. Because I have seen people who had their falls and it was bad. Real bad. Mine ? Perhaps just tripping over something.

   I am protected. It's a fact no matter how I don't want it to be true, I am being protected the moment I breathed  in with my own lungs for the very first time, the moment I let out my very first cry. My family, my friends. But not in all aspects, as there will be things that only me myself can deal with. But I'm never on my own. I always have someone to turn to, the only thing is, I'm too stubborn to spill it out.

   Very rarely, I will sit down and confess my problem or my feelings to my sister or friend but when I really do so, I'm hoping not for a guide but more to someone who will accompany me and listen to what I have to say. Blogging is like another way, not listener but reader.

    I almost tripped, but was immediately held by somewhat, angels in my life. You just don't know how great you're playing your part even by just accepting my awfulness. In the end of the day, I've lost some deceiving feelings and found the real meanings to something I've been holding on. 

#a picture dated back in november

  It was indeed a rough week for me, but the value of this week is too great for me to not love it.

I love you, Nicholas, baby boy ! Thank you for recovering so fast !



Wednesday, January 12, 2011

of new look and daily rambles


I've been debating whether or not to change my blog to black color for quite some time now..well...i did it at last.. ! Hah ! I don't care what you think, hee..i like this new header and look of my blog ! =) If you're wondering how my blog looked like, don't bother. 

It's Wednesday, the third day of my second week of school. Like i said, this week hasn't been kind enough to me. A rather "rough" week ! I really didn't expect this to happen. But when it happened, to be honest, what i feel ? Hmm... the feeling when you expected your friends to throw you a surprise birthday party but they ended up bringing you to a great restaurant? (i know the comparison is...weird) You still have something but, the enthusiasm is not there? Don't get it? Oh..well, don't bother ! =)

this is actually an old photo.. !

When i first saw this sugar bunny, i was like..ohh ! God, this is so dang cute ! i simply need to have it or i'll die ! But that's only how i feel in term of words.. whether or not i feel that way literally? Not really. So maybe that's the reason why i'm not okay only for a pretty short time. I don't really want it. I just wish it is there. Short term heartache i will call it. 


The good news about these few days is that, Nicholas has been discharged ! Thanks god ! I guess i'll give Labelle a call now she must be...exhausted? Given the efficiency of government hospitals, who wouldn't? 

Anyhow, i've added more stuff to my Mich-list ! OTL my wish-list is increasing by day, by month or whatsoever ! Ish..=P 

I decided to tag my post with weather to describe my feelings for (if possible) every post 
=) heeee....we've got what uh? 
cloudy for slight moody, sunny for excited, stormy for angry, rainy for sad, rainstorm for super emo and rainbow for happy, clear for neutral? haha

Right, i call this a post, i need to work on my studies..till then.

Lotsa love, 


p/s: if you're reading, you should comment so that i know that you're not dead =P do you like the new look ?

Monday, January 10, 2011

of video and emotional update

Alright, as i promised in the earlier post that i will post the video of my new year eve celebration once my "darling" done editing and uploading the video. I don't know if you can successfully view this video because of the privacy settings, so comment below to let me know ya !

Sit back, relax, enjoy.

Our craziness .. =) Want more crazy photos? Here

There are a few more videos i guess..because if he put everything in this it will be crazily long.. !

I guess today hasn't been kind enough to me or maybe I'm being sentimental. Why sentimental? Whoa, a whole lot of stuff contributed to it. Nicholas is admitted to the hospital. baby boy ! I called mummy and she said he's getting better, bacteria infection at the lungs and mild asthma inherited from my brother-in-law. Praying hard that he will recover soon enough.. !

Aside from Nicholas... I... skip this, to my studies.. Entering university needs at least 3.2 overall CGPA. In other words, i have to AT LEAST score 60 marks in every paper. This is driving me to insanity. My mood right at this moment is like -4 ! =X

The student council is pushing us to organize activities so and so.. It's just the first day of the week and I'm already feeling tired and exhausted.. 

Breath !

I guess pressure's on. But i need some air !

Nicky boy, i miss you so much ! Please be okay. 

the exhausted non girl, non woman,

 when everyone fails you, don't worry, HE's there for you now and always..(=

p/s : if you're wondering where is my oh-so-important chat box/shout box is..i've moved it to a stand alone page with the title Click Me ! 

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Are you a GLEEK or a GEEK ?

During my lower-six end of year break, aside from msn-ing, facebook-ing, blog-ing, plurk-ing, I was glee-ing too. When the whole world started going crazy over GLEE i was like, what the hell is so nice about glee? Ain't it just another chic-lit sorta teens drama ? (and in case you still don't know what the heck Glee is....GOOGLE it laa !)

Until i finished Pretty Little Liars Season 1 and have got nothing better to do a.k.a NO LIFE, i gave the first episode a try. Immediately, i fell in love with this drama. I'm honestly the sort of person that have no patience with dramas. I used to go crazy about Hong Kong dramas, Taiwan dramas, etc. But i will soon get bored with the draggy stories like why the hell can't you make it short and straight to the point??!! So yeah, it's kind of hard for me to complete a series of drama unless i find it really interesting or the castings are great ! 
(in PLL's case, too many pretty girls and hot guys for me to not like..heh)

But Glee is another thing. Don't ask me if it's something like High School Musical because i never lay my eyes even for a mere second on that series of movie. I just don't like it or perhaps, not yet like it. But one thing i'm sure, it's totally different from Hannah Montana or even Lizzie McGuire where both are 100% bimbo-tic chic-lits. 

Glee is about music. Yes, it's about music. In this drama, they're almost singing half of the time and even you're a total geek who know nothing about the latest hits, i'm pretty sure there must be at least a song they covered you know. And as far as i'm concerned, most of them are actors and actresses who can really sing and act !   

The main reason i love this drama is their singings, especially Lea Michele's voice ! Her voice is simply awesome and captivating ! 

i wish i can have a voice like hers !

The choreography and arrangement is simply brilliant ! I'm merely sharing the OST's of the drama ! You need to watch it to really get what i mean..=)

The videos from youtube are some of my favorite covers from Glee from season one. And Charice is appearing in season two ! weeee..... !  No worries that there are no hotties in this drama..heh..! 

If you haven't watch it yet, give it a try ! It's really nice and worth watching..=)
p/s : i'm watching season 2 and in a slow pace.. heh..what with studies and work loads from school ! Watching glee actually helped me to relax and that's the reason behind the existence of this post.. !


Tuesday, January 4, 2011

of life, life AND life

perhaps a brief update of my recent life after school started?

Well, it's just the second day of school and what am i doing? updating about my so called school life? Oh well.

Now that my class has been moved to the senior block, it's darker compared to the previous classroom we used last year. We have to turn the lights on all the time now (look what shit i'm crapping !) and it's sort of blinding ! Ughh !

It's just the second day of school and i already have this feeling that my work loads are increasing as seconds tick by... ! OTL The first day of school itself.. a teacher held us back to talk crap ! Anyways, the lessons started immediately thanks to my Malay Language teacher. She might be strict, but she's a brilliant teacher. Okay. I'm not here to talk about my teachers ! I have to make another decision of the century! I have a MUET to sit in May and I'm already freaking out. Oh dang. This is insane !

My MUET teacher was like What did you get for MUET during the final exam? Uhh..Band 5? you aim for Band 6. -after recess- Why you want a Band 6 for? Go London? Haha..but MUET is not recognized in London. What else can i say? I was totally speechless... 

Hmm..what else? Oh..i updated my Mich-list...! I can't imagine that i really forgot about it while i was putting up that bloody list of mine..! And, I'm considering to freeze my karma in plurk. I don't have, and certainly can't afford to update it every single day now. Schooling alone eats ups most of my time not to mention assigned tutorials...bla and bla and bla ! And also study..So, i'll just have to sacrifice plurk because facebook is a communicating media, they spread everything through facebook now ! (what a good reason)

I have to pay 120 bucks upfront for the Malaysian University English's for May and October.. ! I need to pray hard i don't screw either up ! =X

So..till the next post then...! =)
Smile and survive...

Lotsa love,


Sunday, January 2, 2011

of a bunch of new year whores

Hola buddies !

Are all these terms appearing everywhere you go?

Happy New Year ! It's 2011 ! A New Year, A New Beginning ! Great year  ahead ! 

So's a brand new year, and this is just the second day of this brilliant new year ! And cheers ! This is my first post of the year !! I should have updated it yesterday but i was waiting for the photos my buddy took ! let's begin with how did you kick started your 2011? I went to my friend's house for a barbecue cum steamboat countdown-gathering party ! (the name's quite long ehh?OTL)

the yummy and delicious food for barbecue.. hee !

and also steamboat ! it's a whole lot of food !

weee....begin!! we used more than half an hour to start the fire..OTL
*epic fail*

JJ and Nan ! Buddies!

the patience they showed...LOL

we're actually starting the fire...(sorry..wrongly arrange..)

steamboat gang! =D

Proudly presenting to you, the "hottest" alien in this universe........
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