Friday, January 21, 2011

of a loving mother and her heartless children

Okay, the title seems harsh, maybe lend me sometime to finish this post, then only you judge if the title is harsh ?

It has been quite some time since the stroke attacked my grandmother, she has been staying in my house ever since the second stroke took away her freedom. In the pass two years, her soul was trapped within her decaying body. And yes, her decaying body.

And ever since, her body is literally shrinking. She eats and drinks, but nothing that her body will absorb because dehydration is obvious. Not to forget that she's getting thinner day by day. 

In the beginning, her children - my uncles and aunties visit her quite frequently like, every once a week. And then once every two weeks and then once a month until recently once every few months. My grandfather, visited her thrice i guess since the day we brought her to our house ! Even they come, they'll just greet her and went out to the living room ! Not even willing to spend 5 minutes in the same room with her. But my grandmother never cease waiting for their once in a blue moon visits. 

Until recently, her condition is getting worse. 

After discussing with my father, my mother finally decided to call one of my aunt to gather everyone at my house. Do you know that, most Chinese, regardless of religion, believe that when one is meeting his or her end, he or she will wait no matter what it takes to see her love ones like children, husband, etc. ? 

So yeah, but you know what the irony part is ? My aunt replied my mother saying that she's busy..busy ! A simple word that we use so often has suddenly turn into a curse, a taboo, a swearing word to me. Your mother is about to leave any moment, and you tell me you're busy ?

When my sister got home, she posted a note at facebook along with my grandmother's photos urging them to come meet her. One of my cousin gloriously liked the note. 

The heart-breaking part for my sister and i ... our father. Our father who lives under the same roof. Since my grandmother came, he never really enter her room unless being insisted by my mother. Last night, my mother and my sister confronted him and pleaded him to step into her room and have a real good look at her. He said, he's afraid

My grandmother.. 
she might not be a good mother-in-law to my mother.

My grandmother...
she might not be a loving grandmother to my siblings and i

Is the fact that she's a loyal wife deniable ?

Is the fact that she's a good mother deniable ?

Through stories told by my mother to my siblings and i, my grandmother had forgiven my grandfather despite his unfaithfulness once, twice or even thrice. And as far as I'm concerned, she devoted her life to her children. Working hard to sustain her family and to bring up her children. She has seven child, one of them passed away before i was born. 

But what did she get in return ? 

I'm busy ? I'm not feeling well ? or I'm afraid ?!

What has she done to deserve all these ?

The fact that these dramatic scenes happen right in my life sends shivers through me. The cruelty this developing world has brought. The heartlessness of humans that are made out of fleshes !

The reason i wrote this is not to condemn anyone or to humiliate any of my family members or my relatives. 

I want to make myself remember this. Every single thing that is happening. 

I was talking to my sister about whether will we end up doing what they are doing. I told my sister I want to be a human. A human with feelings. We promised not to let each other including my brother to end up being like what most of my father's siblings are doing. We are going to watch, listen and remember everything that is happening and tattoo it to our hearts. 

To you who are reading this, please, be a human too ! Please don't do this to your love ones. It's the greatest sin that ever existed. It's an unforgivable sin. No God, no religion can ever cleanse it. 

Please bring back some love and humanity back to mankind.



God, please bring them to her. 

1 comment:

You're awesome ! Thanks for your comment =)

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