Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Random facts about ze blogger

And so .. I was tagged by Charissa for some kind of blog award. A big thank you to her for giving me another reason to spill some rubbish here and make sure you check out the hot chic's blog ;) It says from her blog that I need to put down 7 facts about myself and pass it on to other bloggers. So .. here it is I guess.

One. I'm pretty much sure that my friends know about this. I'm freaking scared of spiders. Fatal at sight. And cats too, just not as bad.

2 - I love almost anything that has caramel. From popcorn to cakes, sweets to drinks .. anything with caramel is just awesome.

Three. I always think it's better to find someone older to be your other half. Well, I personally think that the older a guy is, the better. Not too old, not more than than ten years. Yes, I said ten years. I'm mad like that. I don't mind a relationship where the guy is younger .. but I'll never want one ever again.

4 - I've always wanted to get married before 25. *shrugs* Chance is getting slimmer and slimmer.

Five. My teeth are not nice. They are not nicely arranged at the lower row, and I've got buck teeth. But I still smile the nicest smile. Just kidding. But I'm not planning on getting braces. Like seriously.

6 - I'm superstitious. I believe in spirits and karma, etc. And I believe in everything my mom tells me to do and not to do because I believe in the consequences ! I also believe that there's a God for everyone, religion aside.

Seven. I'm a book freak. I'm not a hardcore bookworm, but I believe that I'm almost the insane level when it comes to books. I must wrap them up before I can read them and every book deserves a bookmark ! I don't like lending books to people unless I know you very very well. And 6 is my lucky number but I'm beginning to like 7(totally random I know).

That's it. Seven random facts about me.

And now, I'm passing this award on to these hotties !

Being Hildaladida by Hilda

Peekashu by  Shuwen

Miss N's Circle Of Life by Anne

Check their awesome blog out !



Tuesday, February 28, 2012

no way out, yet

Haven't got the time to update my blog. It's so dead. 

I've been wanting to write something for a long time. But just can't seem to find the right time or the right mood. So much to say, so little words to express. Whenever I wanted to come up here and write something, my mind just go blank and I just stare at the screen before I finally close it and do something else. If I've said I hate waiting for my result once, I've said it a million, zillion times. It sucks. It just can't come fast enough. Even though getting my result now doesn't mean anything since university intake is like six more months away, give or take. 

But I guess knowing my result puts me in a clearer perspective. I might be able to know if I have a higher chance in getting into university or otherwise. I can have a rough idea about what my immediate future will be like. Now.. it's like I just got stuck here, doing nothing. You know the feeling like .. you're going on a vacation and you're just hours or minute away before setting off to your adventure ? That jumpy feeling that you just wanna get a move on ? That's exactly what I'm feeling. Can you imagine how frustrated I am ? 

I just wanna do something. 

Do something as in .. something with my life. Working is doing something, I know. But it's like doing something for someone else while maybe learning a thing or two. Or maybe .. I just don't want to look back a couple of years later realizing that I've waste half of my lifetime leading a meaningless life. 

Funny ain't I ? I complained about being bored when I've got nothing to do except stay at home and lay around doing nothing. I complain about being bored and leading a meaningless life when I finally found a job. Maybe I'm one of those ignorant teenagers that doesn't even know what they want to do with their life. But .. I thought I've always know what I wanted to do with my life. I thought. And .. I'm at the brink of ending my life as a teen. 

I'm turning twenty this August. To most of you, you might think .. 20 .. that's so young .. your life only just about to begin. So young, so raw. But really ? How many ten years of life do you think I've still got. The next thing I know, I'd be turning 30. I feel old. In so many ways .. I feel old. Some of my friends even think I'm crazy for wanting to get married before 25. Lol. But now .. the more I think of it .. the further it feels like from it. 25 ... five years from now. That's impossible. 

It's funny how you used to think that you know how you want your life to be. But as you grow older and things around you change .. life slaps you hard in the face and you doubt if you can ever live up to your own expectations. 

But as hard as life appears to be, there's no point begrudging the unknown. Life is bitter .. most of the time. If you ask me, I think human spend more time fussing over a problem than being grateful and happy about achievements.

 Trust me, that glorious moment of success is always shorter than that depressing moment of failure.

Am I too old to relate badly to this song ?

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get - Forrest Gump
Going to bed with a mindful of thoughts,


Thursday, February 16, 2012

Already gone.

Remember all the things we wanted
Now all our memories they're haunted
We were always meant to say goodbye

Even with our fists held high
It never would've worked out right
We were never meant for do or die

I didn't want us to burn out
I didn't come here to hurt you, now I can't stop

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

Looking at you makes it harder
But I know that you'll find another
That doesn't always make you want to cry

Started with a perfect kiss then we could feel the poison set in
Perfect couldn't keep this love alive
You know that I love you so, I love you enough to let you go

I want you to know that it doesn't matter
Where we take this road someone's gotta go
And I want you to know you couldn't have loved me better
But I want you to move on so I'm already gone

I'm already gone, already gone
You can't make it feel right when you know that it's wrong
I'm already gone, already gone
There's no moving on so I'm already gone.
                                                                                                       -Already gone, Kelly Clarkson

Monday, February 13, 2012

She will be loved.

Greetings earthlings !

I'm not sure if you guys still remember that I've mentioned in previous entries that this year will be an eventful year and full of surprises ? So here comes the first one ..

*round of applause*
*standing ovation*

So yeah, for the past couple of days, weeks, months, I've lost count. Lol. The wedding was being prepared. Wedding photo shooting, buying a whole lot of stuff, this, that, my sister and my brother in law was crazily busy. For my part, I just had to think of games and prepare the props, game list, blah blah and blah. And bug the band. Lol. 

To everyone, it was sudden. But truth be told, to me, it seems okay. Tell you what : A woman, she's ready to get married all the time,anytime. It's just the matter of finding the right and perfect guy for her. And my sister found hers, so she got married. 

This kind of sudden decision, people often jumps into conclusion that the bride must have been knocked up. Honestly ? Why do you even care if she really got knocked up or not ? If she is, they are getting married, big deal ! If not, they still ARE getting married, so BIG DEAL ! My point is, well .. it really isn't your business to mind because when someone tells you they are getting married, the first thing that should come across your mind is, god bless you, congratulations :)

Being erratic as she was and probably will always be, through those ups and downs she's been through. Those heartbreaks and tears she had and finally found my brother in law, she's not lucky .. she deserves every bit of it. Because she has faith in her love life. Those happy tears she cried in those last days before her marriage is enough to compensate those sad tears she had before she found my BIL ! 

The wedding reception was on 11 of February and the wedding dinner was on 12 of February. Please bear with these photos as it is not enough to tell the whole magical story. I was busy and had no time to take photos. Those photos my brother took are either blur or pointless .. ! Though photographers were hired, I'm not sure if I can manage to post some of it here. So for the time being, bear with these ! :)

#kissing the bride !

The games were easy. One of the grooms-maids said so himself when we were chatting at my BIL's house. The first thing they had to do was bumping, then eat some crackers spread with wasabi. I made them read tongue twister while munching those crackers. And then blindfolded the groom and made him apply lipstick on his grooms-maids. Then they had to burst some balloons and find puzzle pieces for my BIL to solve. The last one was actually my favorite ! Lol. Threw my house key into a bucket of ice and made them find it with their bare legs ! Tee hee. Sorry for the lack of photos on the games. I guess my brother must be laughing his XXX off and can't take any pictures, wtf.

#hopefully this video can compensate ! Lol. BIL is a banana btw. 
 #the heng dai and zi mui

#the other half of the group pic .. lol !

#heng dai gang ! 

#zi mui tug-bride-war
#pulling ears !

And after the reception, there was party held at BIL's house. That was when I first saw a blogger friend, Kyuo in person. I was waiting for my aunt to use the toilet and he was sitting there at the sofa .. eating or doing what's not. And I was like, this guy looks familiar. But I didn't had the courage to asked him on the spot, so I thought it must be a mistake !

And the next day, night to be precise was the wedding dinner !!

#tadah ! i've been waiting to see that two word Fene Ng stuck on stage for quite sometime now :)

#me in my bridesmaid dress, i look like a hobbit .___.

#my mom and i ! (in heavy make ups.)

 #me and the dearest

 #the brother and me

 #lol lol .. pretending to play the electronic guitar

#practicing ? lol

My brother didn't take any photos of the bride and the groom during the dinner. Sorry bout that.

The wedding dinner was awesome and my BIL's brother gave a very nice speech and toasted. The live band was good too. Though at some point there are flaws nonetheless they did a good job. Am proud of my friends. :D 

Lol, and guessed what, we somehow managed to get eh newly wed couple to dance an upbeat song on stage. My brother took a photo but i looked like shit, so no way im posting it here ! :P Hopefully Kyuo has some ? Oh yeah, I saw him again at the dinner and i finally walked up to him and asked if he's the Kyuo i think i know. When he was figuring out who i am, I was like Damn, this guy don't know me. That will be really embarrassing but thank god he managed to remember my name. Lol.

[Updated]Right .. here are some photos Kyuo sent me ! So kind :')

 #he took photos of the band

 #candid shots of the group dancing

 #don't ask me what that guy beside me is doing ! ==

 #fail wave dance

 #my sis' epic expression

So yeah, my sister has moved into an all new different phase of her life. Living with another family, being a part of them. It won't be easy. But it won't be impossible. As life goes on, we learn things, and her new lesson in life has just begin to unfold. 

Fene, you tubelight, if you're reading this ..

I'm truly, sincerely and really happy that you've finally found the guy .. the one that manages to quicken your heartbeat. The one that you'll be spending for the rest of your life. It's hard to believe that the girl who screams at the sight of Edward Cullen is now someone else's wife. In the future, a mom. But for all I know, you'll do great like you always did. A good wife, a good daughter-in-law, a good sister-in-law and also the best mother one could find.

Oh, by the way, the make up artist and photographer hired by my sister was really awesome ! I think i can introduce them to you if you've got any event that needs them ! :)

#photo taken from Fene's facebook.



Thursday, February 9, 2012

dead and gone


I'm severely sorry for the severe lack of updates. The truth behind my no-show is ... I'M FINALLY WORKING ! Lol. After the prolonged job hunting, I finally found a job and officially started work on 1st of February. It took up most of my day so I barely had/have time to really sit down and blog. Well, nothing much to blog about as usual.

After running some errand today, I came home just to go out again with my parents to buy their shoes. They went looking for shoes and I wandered off as usual to hang out in a bookstore. As I stepped up to the escalator, I couldn't help but remember the day my friends and I hung out at the very same place after our graduation ceremony. It felt like it was only yesterday that we had our graduation ceremony. And the irony part is that, I remember how much I hoped that STPM was over on graduation day. But now, I wish that STPM lies ahead of me waiting silently as I prepare myself for it.

The bookstore there was really boring. Selling mainly Malay novels which I don't read and very limited english novels. Nothing to do, I went and bought myself a cup of caramel hot chocolate and continue wandering around. I go along well with anything that has to do with caramel. It's sweet. But not at once. The sweetness stays in your mouth and each time it gets sweeter and sweeter until you're sick of it. But I still like it.

I've been reading The Passage by Justin Cronin lately. It's the first book of Cronin's trilogy. I'm reading it at a really slow pace given that I'm working. Reading always takes my mind off stuff that bothers me way more than it should. Right now, in this very fragment, or whatsoever you call it, of my life .. I'm waiting for my result. I'm dying to know when is the actual release date. But I've also come to a point that I start wondering so what if the result is out ? I have a feeling it won't be good. I don't know. Who doesn't want good results ? Maybe having the final results in my hand is some kind of closure. To finally decide which side should I turn.

I don't understand all this prolonged waiting. It's like wasting time. And this thought keeps haunting me. What's the purpose of living life. I get good result, I wait again to see if any university accepts me. I don't get good result, I move on with life. In other words, officially enter the society. I have the feeling that I'm living a lifeless life. It feels like I'm waiting. Like there's a button to press it and it sets my life alive. Lol.

High school's life, no, schooling life feels more purposeful than anything. At least, you've got something to look forward to. You've got a goal to reach a mission to accomplish.

I feel lost.


..Ouh, just so you know, the purpose of this post is just to spill some thoughts. Nothing much to share about. Heh.
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