Live.Laugh.Love - Hello 2013 !

Happy New Year, residents of the world !

Say hello to 2013. A whole new year in a whole new world. Hug yourselves as all of you survived 2012, no more end of the world craps.

Not kick starting this year in any special ways but instead, got stuck in hostel room and should be studying but is blogging instead. However, I believe things will get better gradually.

Just want to mark the first day of this brand new year with my resolutions ..

#2013Resolutions :

Live. Laugh. Love. - Be Happy !

Yes, just simple as that. I want to live my life, laugh my life and love my life. I don't want to let those small things bother me and get most of my attention. I just want to be happy, simply happy living my life, being me! The anchor of my past, let the 2012 apocalypse have it.

And .. well .. 

Save Money.

It is bad enough that I no longer earn an income and to top that off, I've been spending quite a lot of money this last year. So yes, though it might be hard, but I do believe everything is possible, wtf. I need to start saving money, not for anything but for the sake that I've spent so much already.

It's after all a brand NEW YEAR !

Happy New Year !

Much love, much gracias,

Mich.

When we argue, fuss and fight - Goodbye 2012.

Hey peeps.

I'm one of those people who are lazy to update my song lists and very much prefer songs from the late 80's till  the beginning of the millenium. I'm no longer one of those girls who can name you the latest top 40s or have all the latest songs downloaded-not that I was. Unless the said song is covered by Glee and it caught my attention.

Don't ask me how I've gotten so detached from current, mainstream, top 40 musics. Maybe because I rarely listen to the radio any more, or maybe music back then was rawer without the touch ups from softwares. I do listen to new songs, often from awesome covers which means they get pretty outdated once I'm hooked to it.

Anyway, my preference seems to time travels a lot.

Les Miserable is because I watched the movie and it was awesome ! It was as good as a real stage play and half the time, it felt like it is more appropriate to burst into applauses ! And so, I'm currently addicted to the songs ! *sings: Do you hear the people sing*

And yay. Finally being able to have Fleetwood Mac's Rumours, I'll have a playlist to accompany me to study for my finals. This week was supposed to be study week. But what I did instead was slacking and reading just a chapter a day for only one subject. I'm so dead.

2012 is about to end if you notice. I have a feeling like, finally it's ending. Finally. With all the fuss going about this year, it's finally coming to an end. I had a feeling like this year has been a real blur to me. Particularly after I entered uni. Right now, this very moment I'm questioning myself: Did my sister got married beginning of this year ? Did the breaking up part of my pathetic short romance happened this year ? Did my bestie left this year ? My grandma passed away last year or the year before last ? When did we move in to this new house ? Especially made blur with this little human being being my second nephew ..

Lol. The bad side of having your sister passing so many milestones in just a year. All seems so far away. Especially when there's a newborn in your house. His growth make things seem further behind, solidifying history itself. Did I graduated form six this year or last year ? 

2012 was happening but also not that happening. I spent my STPM aftermath holidays working as a purchasing clerk. And it might not be my ideal job, but it was a job I loved. I mean, how often can you find a job that you are happy to go to every morning, even Sunday ? Maybe it was the authority my "seniority" granted me, or maybe it was the trust they placed upon me, or even because my colleagues were fun most of the time. The office was always full of laughter. Always. But it seems that things has gradually changed after I left.

And then, I got into University as I've fervently wished for. Through this four months of university life, it was about assignments, meetings and a lot of getting used to. If I were to be honest to even myself, I have yet to find my liking in Uni. Except, maybe I've grow to love my room mate, and yeah .. debate, though I'm just a beginner, barely even there. And then I spent time grieving over those time that has passed. Missing those good old times, and I've got to learn to work pass this.

I don't know if you've ever tried this app from in Facebook. Not to be particularly religious or anything .. but in times it gives you enlightening. Don't mind if it sometime repeats though, I've never gotten any repeats myself. But yeah, what I'm trying t say is that, if you need motivation or simply just some inspiring quotes, this app is fun to use. 

Because whenever 'Everything happens for a reason' doesn't work, I'll make use of this app. 

Whenever there's ending, there's also beginning. If there's only one thing I wish for for this coming 2013, it'll be .. happiness. Not trying to sound gloomy here or whatsoever. But yeah, perhaps you get what I mean ? Yes, in this coming year, I just want to be happy. As happy as I'm allowed to. I don't mind the upsets now and then, but I just want to be happy. Who knows happiness can procrastinate ? 

And I suppose it has taken its own sweet sweet time. Don't you think it's time I go fetch it ?

I just want to stop wondering what upsets me and how to get around it. Because I reckon I should just focus on wanting to be happy. Really happy.

I know and forgive the blogger for providing you this lousy wrap up of my 2012 not to mention not much photos, and it's still early I know .. But please just bear with me okay as I'm in the hype of blogging. This hype is rare nowadays and I'm aware of the danger of it. Haha !

Anyway, and advance ..

Happy New Year, everyone ! I wish you an awesome year ahead too.

Good night and sleep tight,

Mich

P/s : Why the title you ask ? 

Heard it first in one HK drama. Then came across this yesterday in a record shop.

I'm putting those behind me.

Back to December

Greetings, Jingle Bells !

It's finally December. Last month of the year. So be frank, people, who's excited about the end of the world ? Just kidding. Guess it's pretty early for a recap of 2012. But still, it's the first day of the last month in 2012. What an irony, first day of the last month. December, I beg you to be friendly with me.

Take a deep breath, and say .. Goodbye, November. 

November has gone by just like that. Without much drama I'd say ? And in the blink of an eye, I'm sure 2013 will come barging in on us.

Anyway, after having to endure all those positive comments about how good the movie is, finally managed to squeeze some time out to watch Breaking Dawn Part 2 with my room mate and course mates ! And all I can say is .. you'd never realize how important Carlisle Cullen is until you've watched this movie. The whole Twilight Saga movie, I bet you can only remember the first movie and vague memories about the 3 movies in the middle. This is entirely different from the past four movies. I'm impressed. *spoiler* I was so shocked when Carlisle was killed. 

My mind started racing and thoughts about how Carlisle can be resurrected flying around because I was so sure he will not die and cannot die. I'm impressed by how they portray Alice's vision. Oh yeah, Jasper Hale got beheaded too ! Yesss ! I've got to admit, this must be the best film in Twilight Saga.

Came across this stainless steel rings which are really thin and comfortable on our fingers ! :D And it's cheap. So my room mate and I decided to buy it. It looks like the one on top is bigger right ? It's actually the same size ! Best part is, I posted this photo on my facebook with the caption - I'm ENGAGED :') and everyone congratulated me ! Haha !

Small little stainless steel ring gently wrapping around my little finger. Fitting perfectly. :) It's very hard to find rings like this. Heh ! I just love wearing rings. So where is that guy that's suppose to put on my engagement and wedding ring right now ? Lol.

Okay, that's about it. A rambling post much ? Better than nothing, I'd say. Omaigod. Seriously can't wait for next Thursday to come :D It's a sad thing that my 'half boy-friend' can't come ! Been seeing her rarely nowadays, sort of miss those days when we hang out after school !

Signing off,

Mich.

Big Bad Wolf Preview Pass !

Greetings.

Yesss, yesss, yesss ! I know this blog is as good as dead because there's no frequent update and even there is, it's boring. Sorry people ! Been busy with assignments and tests and meetings ! HOWEVER ! Through ALL these busy, hectic and annoying stuff I'm going through, there's no way I'll be missing any great sales. Well, I mean book sales.

And god forbids, this busy woman *points self* has won herself PREVIEW PASS to the BIG BAD WOLF book sales !!

Saw that?! Saw that ?! I correctly guessed the price for three books and was the first one with correct answer ! *proud* I know Michelle is a common name, but I assure you I AM the winner. Bwaha.

I already collected my pass :D Though had to went all the way to Amcorp Mall, but it was sort of worth it I guess. Come on, peeps ! It's a preview pass that admits TWO ! It'll be lesser people and I can do whatever I want there more comfortably, I guess. 

Speaking of getting to Amcorp Mall, I've honestly never been to Amcorp Mall for my entire life, just passed by it. But my friends told me there's this book store that sells freaking cheap books. But never bother to go anyway. So, I was quite hesitant at first to go collect my pass. But after my friend explained it ..

Lol, so yeah ! After her detailed explanation. I guess it was a easy journey, something like travelling to Sungei Wang with friends from Kajang when I was a kid. By the way, rabbit means RapidKL .. :D Don't mind the vulgar. I'm usually very polite .. just that .. ehem. So yeah ! In the end, I managed to get there :D And also bought myself a copy of Tess of The D'urbervilles because it's the first time I step into BookXcess ;)

Taadaa ! Can't wait for 6th of December to come because I had to resist myself from buying any other books just now ! Gah. Oh, by the way, if you don't know what Big Bad Wolf is still, click here to find out more. But I think they stop giving out passes :P 

It's a book sale book lovers should never miss ! See you there !

Happy book hunting ;)

Mich >D

new born, new life

Hi !

It's awfully long since I've last blogged. I know right, what an epic failure of a blogger I am ! It's like I'm retreating far away from this blogosphere before even stepping into it. But this time around, I'm not entirely governed by my lazy genes. It's the hectic life I'm currently leading now and the sucky line my hostel provides. Well, the latter doesn't count I suppose given that I could have went to the library if I really wanted to blog so badly. Thing is, I don't have much time. I don't suppose you want to read on about me ranting and rambling about how many assignments I have to get done before the deadline is here right ?

Baby Aayden is growing so fast. Notice his chubbiness ? Just look at his small tiny hands ! It's so awesomely cute .. And I just realize, there's some changes sprouting in my life. Well, first is this chubby baby boy arriving in our family, then it's my entirely new life as a university student. And, well, my besties being away from me. They said university is where you make new friends that last for the rest of your life. I don't know if it applies to me too. I miss my friends. Coming here makes me miss them and my family too.

I look forward to going back home despite it's just 30 minutes drive or less away. It's not because I'm a spoiled brat. I don't expect anyone to understand me. I spent most of my time now in university. I don't want to feel like an outcast again among my family. Spending most of my time away makes me so .. outdated about what's happening back home. Because you're away, you're not aware of what's happening at home. Even the tiny little insignificant details that I missed, will miss or might miss makes me feel so .. detached from home. It's part of the insecurity ? Thank god it's UPM I got into. I'd die of depression if I get any further I guess. Such a child ain't I ?

Life begins at the end of our comfort zone. I guess I'm pretty much still in my comfort zone. Just half a step out of it. But this whole university thing, it turns your perspective around. You no longer have teachers babysitting you. I'm still trying to get used to all this craps. And just like any other newbies in university, 24 hours a day is simply just not enough.

By the way, I think I'll have to pick up this blogging thing again as soon as possible. I want to get into Nuffnang after I graduated ! Haha, which mean, I have to run an awesome blog.

Need to get going. Till then.

Mich

it's fun because we are young

#truestory

So it's been a couple of years days since I posted something. Please pardon your lazy and extremely busy blogger. No, seriously, I AM busy.

So uni life has officially started right after that one week of orientation. Truth be told, I still haven't figure out the fun part of uni life. Maybe it's because my time table is shitty, or maybe it's because the first assignment I have to deal with is pretty shitty too.

Don't get me wrong, living in an entirely new environment and meeting new friends is totally fun, like totally. But I guess I still haven't fully and completely adapt my self to this new life, I really miss home, despite it's just 30 minutes drive away, wtf.

#orientation week

New friends, part of them. And I'm honourably glad that I'm assigned to a room mate .. Because some of my coursemates have got no room mate or room mate happens to be an unrelated senior. And guess what ..

#room mate

My room mate was born on the exact same date with me ! Lol, awesome yet creepy. One word : Faith.

Anyway, I was browsing through facebook via my phone and came across this article that says that the girl who underwent the heart changing surgery five years ago passed away.

It happened 5 years ago and the news that she survived the surgery was spread nationwide. The article claimed that she complained to her father that she feel sick earlier this morning at 8 a.m. Her father immediately sent her to hospital but she still passed away. She lived for 19 years. 

I guess it hits close home. I was shocked one minute and the next, I was in tears. It is impossible to ignore the fact that miracle happened to her, but it did not last. Who knows .. I might probably face the same faith too. 

If this is a wake up call, then it's telling me to cherish whatever I'm having because .. you never know when the miracle that happened to you is decided to be taken away. But she is one brave girl. May her soul rest in peace.

This must be a super shitty week. 

Till then

Mich.

one step at a time

I must say, what a week. 

I've finally registered for my university, settled in and went through that one week of orientation. No, let me correct that, one week of MADNESS.

I've always knew university orientation is crazy, but I didn't know it'd be mad. It's not that awful, at least no humiliating pranks. 

This is where I'll be living for a year, or maybe even more. Well, maybe.

Orientation was madness for me because those facilitators in charge won't let us off till at least past one in the morning and we have to gather up at 5.30 in the morning. For your information, letting us off at one is by far the earliest. For the first couple of days, it's 2.30 or maybe 2.45. We were not given enough time to bath during the day and everything was a rush. The first morning, my room mate and I woke up at 4.15 just to bath in icy cold water. It's almost impossible to stay clean throughout the orientation because we wore the same shirt for a couple of times.

Apart from that, everything was considerably fun. It happens that it's a tradition for newbies of each college in the campus to do cheers in the grand hall during this week. It's the only time when you can make so much noise in the grand hall. UPM has got a total of 17 colleges and you can imagine what an uproar when 17 colleges tackling each other with noisy cheers. It was really awesome in the grand hall when all the college residents unite and cheer loudly in unison. Sadly, my college was too passive. We didn't manage to perform how our seniors expected us to perform.

There was this small seminar held in my college's hall by the counselling staffs in UPM. The counsellor gave us a small piece of paper and told us to write a speech on each side of the paper. One speech to self and one speech to your love ones. Then she asked people who volunteered to read it out loud. And that was when I realized, how lucky I really am. There's a story behind everyone. And I'm glad my story is filled with joy and also tears balancing with each other, or maybe struggling to maintain a balance. I've a better way of living than so many other people out there. It made me self conscious.

  My favourite part of this orientation must be the Bukit Expo in the university. Facilitators lead us there to jog in the morning and I was stunned by it's view. It was cool and misty early in the morning and very green. I'm so glad it's only walking distance from my college. When everyone was jogging, I was walking slowly. I wanted to join them, to be the part of their rhythmic footsteps and feel my muscles pull and flexes. I'd like to feel the wind on my face. But I had to surrender to myself.

It occurs to me that this 3 and a half year time might as well be the last time to enjoy and UPM has so much to offer. I've always been carefree about my studies. Just slightly, very slightly above the average level then it's okay for me alreadt. But then here I am, in UPM. And I finally get to do what I like. I start to crave for more. All these while, I never gave much thought because, i doubt I'm highly result oriented kind of person mainly because my parents don't really mind. They don't push me hard. And also because I doubt I can do it. I've never been the smart kid in school nor the hardworking kid.

But now, I'm aiming to achieve my goal. No one told me I can't. I've always been the one who think that I can't. I still do doubt myself. But with determination and motivated, I'm driven to tell myself to go and work for it. You won't be 101% that you will achieve what you want, but you can always try 201 times.

Creating victory. All I got to do is just learn how to stick to this determination.

I've never really slept much this week. So, I'll go sleep now !

When I have the chance I'll definitely shoot some photo of the awesome park in my uni :)

Till then.

Love,

Mich

Edge of Glory

Hi.

It's already the first day of September, the end of the first day of September. But this pathetic blogger has to somehow summarize what's she's been up to, mainly in August.

August lied quietly between the borderline of eventful and dull. When August started, I went around to get documents certified and ran bank errands. And then, like my previous post, Fene gave birth to a healthy dragon baby. Ever since then, my mom stayed over at her house to aid her with the traditional Chinese confinement. I spent most of my August alone at home.

To be honest, it was really depressing at first. Washing clothes, sweeping and moping around. No one to talk to, just hog the internet. No mom shuffling here and there. Just me, the internet and the radio. I'll wake up a bit late than necessary so the day ends faster. But soon enough, I got used to it. 

I was secretly glad that there was this one week of Hari Raya holiday for my father. I can't really recall what I did with him, but I was glad I didn't have to stay at home alone. Moms are seriously heroes. They can quietly do all these chores waiting for their husband and children to come back at night. Anyway, Labelle and mummy accompanied me to shop for some formal attires. Was so glad that I can flex my legs' muscles ! The sales was still on and I spent quite a lot that day given that I 'accidentally' splurged when I came to this boutique at Shop-a-lot where Labelle works at. She has got discounts for all the stuff there .. I just can't help it !!! On the same day, my father brought me to KLCC bookfest after I've been nagging him for a few days :D 

Then, there's the packing. 

Initially, I wanted to bring this luggage and another storage box for my miscellaneous stuff. But then, after considering that I'm only born with two hands, I packed again and managed to squeeze everything into the luggage. 

I'll be at UPM tomorrow to start my yet another journey of education. I thought I'd feel excited. I'm glad I had the whole August to myself after 6 months of working. I got my stuff settled and hopefully rested. I seriously don't know how those who spent 8 months at home doing nothing but hogging the computer or just stone all day long can get back into the real world after so long. 

Because I'm shying away from the idea of getting into an all new environment tomorrow after just spending one month at home.

All right, time's up. Wish me luck !

Restless,

Mich.

Life's a miracle

I've been slacking a lot lately. I didn't even blog about my birthday ! Haha ! And I should have blog about a restaurant, that too I left it aside. So yeah, I've been quite busy and lazy at the same time. Pardon me please. 

But readers, this is what makes me want to blog so much that I'm currently ignoring my fatigue soul that is currently urging me to just go to bed ..

My sister has just delivered her baby this morning !!

YESSS. If you remember a blog post about my sister getting married, this is the sequel to it. We've waited for his arrival so long and he finally picked today to come out of his mom's womb !

12 August 2012

Thank god that the labour did not took long like my elder sister's did when she was delivering Nicholas. The whole process seemed okay, not much pain to be endured. And she went through it bravely. So proud of her !

And the baby has got big eyes like my sister's ! Just so adorable.

It's such a miracle that just yesterday, he was still inside my sister's womb kicking, and today .. he's out. A tiny little being, not even 24 hours old. With a small fluttering heart beating inside him. How can life not be a miracle ? It must have felt like a magical journey. And I envy her. Not only my sister, but those who are brave enough to bear our next generation, enduring the pain. Well, exceptions; teen, immature pregnancy.

These little lives, they need to arrive in a secured family. A promising childhood and growing environment. Definitely not some irresponsible teenagers getting knock up. 

I highly doubt that I'll have the chance to go through this magical journey my sisters had went through. But today, I'm grateful that everything went smoothly. 

Boi boi ! You're such a gift to us ! :)

Fene, so proud of you ! =) You ought to know that you're awesome.

Becoming an aunt again,

Mich

the longer, the shorter.

It's been so long since I last updated. Yet, I'm gonna keep this short. I guess nothing is more disappointing then always coming back and finding this blog without any interesting updates ?

It's old news, but I reckon my blog ought to know. I got accepted to a local university. Thankfully, it's near. So near that I can walk back. No, just kidding.

I'm in some kind of dilemma now. Feeling wise. I'm excited because Uni life is about to start. But I'm also upset because I  have to resign from my current job. Truth be told, I already hand in my resignation letter. So, it's official. But, I'm gonna miss this place so much. If you ask me, I love this job. The feeling of accomplishment I get from this job, how the office always burst into laughters. It's not easy to find a job where you are literally eager to go to every morning. 

I feel sorry that I could not stay until August. Not even the middle of August even though they asked me to. 

Mich.

Alive

It took me long enough to realize, I haven't been blogging much lately. I must admit, I broke my promise. I said this year will be full of surprises. Quite the opposite, it's dull and not lively at all, this blog I mean. It's not that I have nothing to blog about, quite the opposite(again). I just don't really have the mood and time. I even stop reading after I finish The Passage.

Hence,

I lost count of how many times I've read her books. It just happens. One day, I was whatsapp-ing with a friend and suddenly .. I miss wandering along the corridors of Hogwarts. Funny how I always end up reading Harry Potter whenever I'm down or feeling empty. It never even once fails to distract me. I'm making myself sound desperate, #foreveralone and sadistic. Lol. But truth be told, it feels way much better having some wizards accompanying me in my mind. 

Remember how I kept complaining that time crawls ? All of a sudden, time is passing a tad bit too fast. It's another week, then another week and another week again. Just like that. I remember someone once told me, the week passes by faster after Wednesday. I've been sticking to this theory ever since. So when Wednesday is here, I'm pump with the weekend hype. Literally smelling Saturday. 

So .. to assure my loyal stalkers and bloggers who still give a damn about me, yes ! I'm still alive. Very much alive.

Bad skin condition. But it's getting better. 

Okay, my apology once again for my lack of updates. Till then.

Lots of love,

Mich.

of charm bracelets and drinks

Hello, readers !

#Fact8 about ze blogger, I'm fond of charm bracelet. Ever since I read The Lovely Bones by Amelia Sebold, I fell in love with the idea of charm bracelets and have always thought of getting one. And then, I came across with this shop called Vintage 1988 ! They sell all sorts of accessories with different kind of vintage charms. And guess what ? I can customize my own bracelet with all sorts of charms. 

I've been to this shop several times, but funny thing is, I never manage to customize my charm bracelet. But like I said in one of my previous post, my sister bought me a princess necklace with a miniature merry-go-round charm from this shop, I was so happy ! Then, it happened that last Saturday, the bestie asked me out after work and we dropped by Mid Valley. She loves vintage stuff too and I brought her to that shop. And guess what ? I've finally got my very own customized charm bracelet ! *happy tears*

We both made one and paid for each other. Lol. 

Both bracelet has got a coin-like pendant thing. Initially, I wanted both of us to have live your dream, but for some reason, the bestie wants hers to be live,laugh,love ! :)

#This is hers !

#this is mine !

Wanna know why I love charm bracelets ? Because every little charm on your bracelet mean something to you. And each symbolizes something ! So, it's very personal. You see those charms in these two bracelets, they seem unrelated to each other and random. That's because you're not me. This little thing bears my thoughts and .. somehow, it's like a chunk of who I am. Lol. Wanted to explain what each of them mean to me, but now I think I should keep it undisclosed. 

And then, after buying this and feeding our tummy, we followed her sister to a club. Lol, truth be told, it's ze blogger's first time to be in a club. But thank god, the club was more like a pub. Not those typical disco club but still a club. Lol. Whatever. 

#pre-clubbing camwhoring

#drinks in hand, say cheers !

#red like a tomato

Not gonna tell if I was drunk. Lol. But I still sort of embarrassed myself. Damn. Sigh.

Anyway, now that I think of it, I know why it was only until then that I finally get myself a charm bracelet. Yes, I've been there a few times. But never with the right person. A right person as in, someone that really know me and .. will always do crazy stuff with me. Not just do with me but also put up with my craziness. And still understands my craziness. 

There are seven charms, besides the coin-like pendant, we chose a charm for each other, a charm that we think best represents each other. And we paid for each other. Haha .. and I was called ritualistic, wtf. Lol. But yeah. Besides my family, she's the only one by far that can really put up with all my craziness. When i say all, I mean really all. Listen to my decision, supports it if talking me out of it doesn't work. Watch me fall, stayed with me and pulled me up. Friends are like stars, you can't always see them, but they are always there. She's the brightest star I think I'll ever have in my life. 

If you're reading this,

Thanks for always, always being there. I'm lucky and happy to have you in my life. I've said that all the time and is saying it and will still be saying it. Our friendship is matured. You realize that don't you that it is matured ? We don't call all the time. I think there were even time when we never had the time to talk for a month, but still, it's still there, our friendship. It's like a child that is now old enough to take care of itself. It doesn't need attention. But it's still doing fine. By the end of this year or even the middle of this year, we're gonna be really go on our own paths. I hope our friendship stays this way. We don't have to call all the time, talk all the time .. but when we talk, we really talk ! I'm sure I'll really miss you a lot ! Not everyone understands me like you do. The charm you picked explains a lot. You're a classmate, a schoolmate, hangout kaki, bestfriend and above all, a sister I never had. 

I'll always remember what we talked about in Mid Valley last Saturday about our friendship, will you ? :)

Love,

Michelle.

I'm not okay.

How very often when you need to put up a face and let the world thinks that you're okay. Or maybe even when you're not .. make the world thinks that you're gonna be okay ..

Sometimes in life, you'd realize that you have no rights in certain things just because .. you put up a good show. It's like a cycle, people thinks that you're okay and so, you put a smile on that reluctant face of yours. People see you smiling, joke around and laugh jovially, they think you're okay. It goes on and on and on. You wanted to vent your frustrations, your confusions, your anger and your sadness .. you want to talk about it. But .. you don't know where to start from. And you say you're okay.

Saying okay is much easier than telling how you're really feeling. Okay, one word, two syllabus. Explaining your feelings, spilling your thoughts ? That is going through certain feelings again. It's okay if it's something happy. Who would mind feeling that euphoria more than just once ? If it's the opposite ? Triggers are everywhere, you don't need to relive that moment by spilling it out. Every simple thing can throw you back in time to go through some unwanted feelings again.

Some words, some song, some action .. and in my case, imaginary perfume smell. Until you realize you're here and now, it's too late to stop those memories come washing down at you. I'm not insomniac, but I'm prone to bad dreams. I'd go to sleep hoping when I wake up, it's a brand new morning, not the middle of the night with the remnants of a bad dream haunting me.

Since most if not all these feelings are .. expressed vaguely here, so yeah .. I don't have to say I'm okay here. At least, not here.

I remember someone said ; What you fail to let go of is not the feelings, it's those memories that you fear the future won't bring you anymore.

Life is an endless cycle, what goes around comes around. It's not gonna end. Maybe it's not about escaping the endless cycle but seeing life as a merry-go-round instead of a cycle of misery.

Like carousels in merry-go-rounds, there's always up and downs in life. Going around with the ups and downs is always better than stopping, frozen in time.

11.36 p.m.

Love,

Michelle.

I did it ! Gloriously.

Hello, readers ! The blogger has got some good news for you ! =)

The long waited and anticipated result is out. Finally. Thank goD I was able to fall asleep the night prior the release of my STPM result. When I woke up, I was like .. this is it. My mom was supposed to send me to school to get my result at 12. But she had to send the car to adjust the alignment and thus delayed the time a wee bit. 

My heart felt like it was about to jump out of my rib cage when the time showed it was 12. I logged into the MPM site to check my result online but it was so clogged, it won't even load. So I used the SMS way instead. They kept telling me that they have got no records. When my mom finally got home to pick me up, I tried again. This time, they did not reply. When I reach my friend's house to pick her up, I've got the message, finally. The message was simple, subject codes with my grades. I screamed, and my mom got lost in my friend's housing area. Lol. It was good news.

You might think I'm crazy. But I still didn't quite believe it. I was getting more and more nervous when we reach my school. I got down and saw some of my former classmates holding the result slip. I was so very glad when I saw my favorite teacher sitting at a table labeled with my class' tag. Lol. When she handed me the sealed slip, my heart was pounding. Even though I already checked it via message ? Yes. She let my friend and I open our results in front of her. I took one glance at it ..

Oh my god ! I DID IT !!!! 3 A'S AND ONE  B !

(1 A, 2 A-, 1 B-)

It was so much better than I expected ! Really. I never thought I'd get this. I know for most of you it's not superb, but to me .. it's really enough. I don't need to be really perfect. I'm glad and thankful. I did not fail my teachers, I did not fail my family ! And above all, I did not fail myself ! I expect to get an average CGPA of 2.0 more or less. But it came out 3.5 ! Tell me I'm not dreaming !! It still seem a tad bit surreal !

After all those worries and sleepless nights, it's finally here. I'm thankful for the choice I made and grateful for what I've got. I finally did not let my ego get in the way ! 

Thank you so much for all those kind wishes. 

To all those Sixth Formers batch of 2011, all the best from now on. It doesn't matter whether you excel or not. You still need to take that one step to start moving on. No more procrastinating in deciding your future. Maybe it's time for you to grow up and make up your mind about what and how you want your future to be and not follow your friends or letting ego get into your way either. We're turning 20. How many more 20 years do you think we've still got ? 

Before I sign off, I've got a note to INTI college who just today, sent me an email that goes ..

Bitch, please ! Make sure you got the right email address !

All the best guys ! 

Love,

Mich 

p/s : I DID IT ! I ENDED MY STPM GLORIOUSLY ! <3

no way out, yet

Haven't got the time to update my blog. It's so dead. 

I've been wanting to write something for a long time. But just can't seem to find the right time or the right mood. So much to say, so little words to express. Whenever I wanted to come up here and write something, my mind just go blank and I just stare at the screen before I finally close it and do something else. If I've said I hate waiting for my result once, I've said it a million, zillion times. It sucks. It just can't come fast enough. Even though getting my result now doesn't mean anything since university intake is like six more months away, give or take. 

But I guess knowing my result puts me in a clearer perspective. I might be able to know if I have a higher chance in getting into university or otherwise. I can have a rough idea about what my immediate future will be like. Now.. it's like I just got stuck here, doing nothing. You know the feeling like .. you're going on a vacation and you're just hours or minute away before setting off to your adventure ? That jumpy feeling that you just wanna get a move on ? That's exactly what I'm feeling. Can you imagine how frustrated I am ? 

I just wanna do something. 

Do something as in .. something with my life. Working is doing something, I know. But it's like doing something for someone else while maybe learning a thing or two. Or maybe .. I just don't want to look back a couple of years later realizing that I've waste half of my lifetime leading a meaningless life. 

Funny ain't I ? I complained about being bored when I've got nothing to do except stay at home and lay around doing nothing. I complain about being bored and leading a meaningless life when I finally found a job. Maybe I'm one of those ignorant teenagers that doesn't even know what they want to do with their life. But .. I thought I've always know what I wanted to do with my life. I thought. And .. I'm at the brink of ending my life as a teen. 

I'm turning twenty this August. To most of you, you might think .. 20 .. that's so young .. your life only just about to begin. So young, so raw. But really ? How many ten years of life do you think I've still got. The next thing I know, I'd be turning 30. I feel old. In so many ways .. I feel old. Some of my friends even think I'm crazy for wanting to get married before 25. Lol. But now .. the more I think of it .. the further it feels like from it. 25 ... five years from now. That's impossible. 

It's funny how you used to think that you know how you want your life to be. But as you grow older and things around you change .. life slaps you hard in the face and you doubt if you can ever live up to your own expectations. 

But as hard as life appears to be, there's no point begrudging the unknown. Life is bitter .. most of the time. If you ask me, I think human spend more time fussing over a problem than being grateful and happy about achievements.

 Trust me, that glorious moment of success is always shorter than that depressing moment of failure.

Am I too old to relate badly to this song ?

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get - Forrest Gump

Going to bed with a mindful of thoughts,

Mich

dead and gone

Greetings.

I'm severely sorry for the severe lack of updates. The truth behind my no-show is ... I'M FINALLY WORKING ! Lol. After the prolonged job hunting, I finally found a job and officially started work on 1st of February. It took up most of my day so I barely had/have time to really sit down and blog. Well, nothing much to blog about as usual.

After running some errand today, I came home just to go out again with my parents to buy their shoes. They went looking for shoes and I wandered off as usual to hang out in a bookstore. As I stepped up to the escalator, I couldn't help but remember the day my friends and I hung out at the very same place after our graduation ceremony. It felt like it was only yesterday that we had our graduation ceremony. And the irony part is that, I remember how much I hoped that STPM was over on graduation day. But now, I wish that STPM lies ahead of me waiting silently as I prepare myself for it.

The bookstore there was really boring. Selling mainly Malay novels which I don't read and very limited english novels. Nothing to do, I went and bought myself a cup of caramel hot chocolate and continue wandering around. I go along well with anything that has to do with caramel. It's sweet. But not at once. The sweetness stays in your mouth and each time it gets sweeter and sweeter until you're sick of it. But I still like it.

I've been reading The Passage by Justin Cronin lately. It's the first book of Cronin's trilogy. I'm reading it at a really slow pace given that I'm working. Reading always takes my mind off stuff that bothers me way more than it should. Right now, in this very fragment, or whatsoever you call it, of my life .. I'm waiting for my result. I'm dying to know when is the actual release date. But I've also come to a point that I start wondering so what if the result is out ? I have a feeling it won't be good. I don't know. Who doesn't want good results ? Maybe having the final results in my hand is some kind of closure. To finally decide which side should I turn.

I don't understand all this prolonged waiting. It's like wasting time. And this thought keeps haunting me. What's the purpose of living life. I get good result, I wait again to see if any university accepts me. I don't get good result, I move on with life. In other words, officially enter the society. I have the feeling that I'm living a lifeless life. It feels like I'm waiting. Like there's a button to press it and it sets my life alive. Lol.

High school's life, no, schooling life feels more purposeful than anything. At least, you've got something to look forward to. You've got a goal to reach a mission to accomplish.

I feel lost.

Mich.

..Ouh, just so you know, the purpose of this post is just to spill some thoughts. Nothing much to share about. Heh.

Confession of a NON-shopaholic

Hello loyal readers !

A fat face friend complained about the lack of updates on this blog and accuse me for being lazy. I owe my loyal stalkers readers an explanation I guess ? Lol. 

I've been busy for the past couple of days, weeks .. I lost count, because Chinese New Year is so close and I've got a lot of love letters to write to my fans ! No, really. My mom makes love letters for Chinese New Year every year and suddenly, this years' orders rocketed and being a good daughter as I am .. I lent her my hands :D

#love letters a.k.a kuih kapit

So yeah .. terrible shortage of stock and so many orders. Besides being busy with love letters, I went job hunting every now and then too. I don't suppose you want me to bore you out with all my job hunting babbles and ramblings on my boring daily life do you ? 

After meeting all those crazy orders, I'm finally freed from the heat and poisonous charcoal smell ! Oh yeah, the reason why people fancies my mom's love letters is she uses a special recipe. It taste really different and I can guarantee you that you can't find it elsewhere. Lol. 

The reason why I'm blogging now is not because I wanna brag about how fast selling those love letters are. NO ! Of course not. 

The reason I blog is ... I FINALLY have something to blog about ! *happy tears* Lol. Because after my mom and I were freed from the love letters, we get to go shopping with my Mummy ! :D (It's a rather confusing story so just pretend you know that My mom and mummy is both my mother and entirely different human being but NO ! They don't share the same husband, MIND YOU !) 

And mummy brought along this little monsta ! :D

#Nicholas :D

If you're a loyal stalker, you may have read about him in some of my posts. Yeah ! He's my eldest sister, Labelle's son :D Two years old now and here is an animation I made with photos Labelle posted on facebook.

He can talk quite fluently in Cantonese and walk around as he likes. Bad temperament just like his mom. Little guy needs to do things his own way ! And he's like a typical boy. Super likes car and lorries. :D Tell me if he's simply adorable, super cute or just plain awesomely handsome.

Since I said I went shopping .. so let's veer back to my intended topic. Truth be told, I'm not really a hardcore shopper. Barely a shopaholic. Like this time I went shopping, I just bought 5 piece of tops/dresses, a pair of jeans, leggings and a bag. Is that a lot ?! Lol. I don't shop around the clock .. puh-leaseeee !

I don't usually buy clothes during outings. Well, maybe some basic tees so .. above stated ain't that much right ? :D And another point is .. I don't go after branded stuff yet ! (Hint : I'm a very supportable girlfriend ;) ) I only buy basic tees and tops from some minor brands. *sob*

Let's take a look at what I've brought home along with some self shot photos *shy :D

#Floral lacy dress

When I saw this floral dress, I was like .. Omaigod, I must have it !!!

#skinny jeans 

It was a long time since I bought jeans ! ._.

#Pink net top with my jeans

 I can be cool ! *troll face*

#Vintage + korean ?

This should be a top because it's too short to be a dress or even blouse. Seems like it doesn't look good on me ? ._.

#Coffee dress

This is actually the first dress I bought that day ! It's lacy too and I love it. =)

#Printed top

I heart this shirt super much for the wordings ! I find it really nice :)

#PDI Basic tees :)

And last but not least, I finally bought a new bag after saying I want a new bag for god knows how long. But this time it's a sling bag. 

I must confess that, I'm really not a shopaholic at all. Lol. Clothes are okay, but when it comes to bags and shoes .. I'm super picky. I take a very very long time to finally find my perfect bag and shoe. And I didn't manage to buy any new shoes for CNY ! ._.

Right, so I guess this is more or less what I've got to say in this post. After shopping, the next day which was yesterday, I cleaned my room and my brother's room for Chinese New Year. I maintain cleaning my room every now and then and my brother never bother cleaning. But, his room is easier to clean wtf ! 

You can imagine how very tired I am. Not as tired as my mom and mummy though. Besides following me around shopping, they had to chase after Nicky. Lol.

Till the next post then ! :)

Lots of love,

Mich

(p/s : Happy Chinese New Year in advance in case I didn't update after this.)