Friday, August 26, 2011

of boredom and nothing much

finally ! the school test is over.
well, i didn't manage to sit for all the papers because my stomach threw a tantrum on the second day. lets not talk about what kind of tantrum it was.
the end of the school test means holiday. sad enough, this holiday is not meant for fun given that the trial's timetable is literally and technically and whatever-ly horrible. really. almost had a heart attack after looking at it.
as you can guess, i'm stealing some time out of my already low supply of time to .. well .. slack. it ain't gonna be a good time coming up, so let me do some rambling aite ?

i don't know. i suppose my friends, close ones i mean, ought to know by now how erratically emotional a person i am. my mood swing can be at the top of the chart and the next thing you know, it might be falling down, sometimes even falling bottomlessly. well, at least, i haven't have got a major breakdown .. or .. have i ? i don't have a clue why am i so emotional actually. maybe u can blame it on pms be it post or pre.. lol !

for all i know, i'm a very demanding girl.
for all i know, i'm a very unreasonable girl.
for all i know, i'm a very noisy girl.
for all i know, i'm a very complicated girl.
but for all you know, i'm actually a very pessimistic girl. yes, i have to admit that i am. despite most people think that i'm cheerful and happy-go-lucky. but i'm not. maybe i was, but no longer.
because .. for all you know, i'm good at concealing things i don't want people to know about. yes, that too i have to admit. and selfish too !

but simple thing is enough to put a smile on my face. it's just that, it depends on the right person, right time and right things to do. lol. this applies to everyone of course. sigh.

there are so many things that i don't know and can't seem to find the answers. whenever it comes to the decision between being rational and do what your heart tells you to, i often go for the latter one. because, doing what seems rational, yeah, it can guarantee you a better and safer option, but *shrugs* .. i don't know.

sometimes, i wish certain colors in my life can be sharper than other colors.
and i certainly hope that this certain color doesn't fade.
because it's to beautiful to be true .. i want it to be in my life like forever.
but i know it's very greedy to want it in such a way.
some colors just don't stay forever, they fade away leaving you feeling .. helplessly pathetic.

oh, thats a photo from my film slr, btw ..


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