there are sayings that goes : things happen in and only in one way. it doesn't matter what options or choices you have because despite the numerous possible outcomes only one will happen in the end. still, decision makes up most of our life. in fact, our life revolves around decisions.
every single decision that we've made brought us to where we are. i guess that's how we grow. do you remember when you were young (or you probably still are now) and were trying to find your style and your way ?
one afternoon, i was waiting for bus in front of my school. it was quite late and all my friends were by then gone home. there was this junior of mine that is form three i guess, but he's convincing enough to be form one. he was wearing a mushroom hairstyle. i think he had gotten bored or whatsoever, i don't know, and he took out a rubber band and a comb. he tied up a small pony tail at the back of his head. an indian guy was curious enough to ask him why he did that and said he looked weird. the young man simply said, i want to be special and i want to look special, that's my style. the indian guy just smiled.
he was trying to create a unique style of himself, to create an identity that belongs to him. isn't that exactly what we have once been doing too ? but most of the time, instead of finding our style, we're actually following a culture that the society has long created. like following the trend or doing something you think that it's different from others. but the truth is, that's exactly what everyone else is doing, too.
When i was a kid, i've always wanted to be a grown-up because :
- i can wear dresses, stilettos
- i can make up and style my hair
- i can start working because everyone was asking about my ambition
- i can go wherever i want
- i don't have any curfews or possibilities of being grounded.
But, as time passes by, i realize :
- i stop reading comics or watching cartoons but newspaper and novels
- i don't cook with my toys in the living room but starts cooking in the kitchen
- i stop craving after the latest barbie but branded stuff
- i can get married if i want to.
Sadly, the biggest realization is, being a grown-up, one :
- needs to be matured
- needs to be professional
- needs to be responsible
- needs to earn loads of money
- needs to make all sorts of decisions
- needs to know who you're messing around with
and a lot more "needs" to be aware of.
"Life is a series of pulls back and forth. You want to do something, but you're bound to do something else."
-- Morrie Schwartz