Friday, April 29, 2011

of shattering and picking up the pieces

I was told that I'm more approachable and so, when something goes wrong, people come complaining or lecturing me instead of the one who is being responsible about what went wrong. Well, come to think of it .. am i ? Maybe i am more vulnerable then i have ever thought of.

There is always someone who will knock on your door, turn around and just leave. It's easy, for those who leave, they got nothing to lose. But upon knocking on your door, it leaves your heart shattered into pieces and you'll have to pick them up and mend them back together, always hurting yourself in the process. Oh, yeah .. you can only pick up the shattered pieces, the mending part .. you will need to make an appointment with time.

I came to realize that apart from being emotionally erratic, I tend to believe what people say way too easily too. In certain ways, i trust the world too much, only certain ways ! And i guess i need to admit that i'm defenseless against words that are saturated with glucoses, sucroses and .. whatsoever. Deceiving words and people, too.

I have yet to learn the art of compromising .. of letting go things that doesn't really belong to me .. of getting a good control over my emotion .. or going head over heels into something or someone. I think i need to learn when to trust my guts and when not to too. I don't really remember when, but i was dreaming away and this thought came to me.

Aren't i suppose to be contented with the fact that .. my heart, my fragile little heart is still beating ? My brain(not much of a use though .. lol) is still functioning as normal as it should. My lungs are still inhaling and exhaling. Everyone that love me and i love is still out there some where - alive !This earth is still rotating, time is still passing and .. i'm still here..! Isn't it here and now that matters the most ? Who cares about what happened ? Who even wanna give a damn about those who already left your life willingly without even a second glance ?

I don't. And don't you dare come knocking at my door without the slightest intention of putting me back together.


p/s : Do bear in mind that hearts are not made of flesh but merely fragile glasses that break upon the slightest mistake.

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